Like several other posts in the GRIT Series, I started this one during the Canadian trucker protest at the beginning of 2022, but felt too discombobulated at the time to complete and publish it. I seem to be completing everything at a snail’s pace these days and I got stuck on this one for way too long. Such are the energies. Here are my thoughts after the fact….
At the beginning of 2022, the Canadian trucker convoy and protest hit close to home for me—in ways that it did not appear to for many Canadians:
First, as I divulged in my You’ve Got GRIT post, they are publicly demonstrating on my behalf, against government mandates and for their and my right to choose. I believe everyone is born with the inalienable right to decide what happens to our bodies, including what we put into it or choose not to put into it.
Second, I tend to equate the truck driver persona with my Papa—my grandfather who passed away in 2016. He was a transport truck driver for many years, travelling the length and breadth of North America. My Papa definitely had GRIT: courage, resolve, and strength of character. I can’t help but wonder what he would have thought of the trucker convoy and protests. Out of nostalgia, I re-read the post I dedicated to my Papa, A Life Well Lived, with the ‘top 10 lessons I learned from my Papa,’ which I shared at his funeral. It occurred to me how well these life lessons spoke to everyone involved in the crisis in my country’s capital city of Ottawa.
GRIT: Go Right Into Trepidation
Aligned with Gravity; GRIT grounds us down, breaking down negative connections.
“When I resolutely face my discomfort, my fear disintegrates—my resistance dissolves.”
PLUCK: Purposeful Luck
Aligned with Levity, PLUCK raises us up, building up positive connections.
“When I intently focus on my purpose, my luck aligns—my possibilities harmonize.”
Initially, the impetus for the trucker convoy alluded me—I assumed they had collectively finally lost patience with lingering restrictions and decided to act. Mainstream media chose to focus on the drama of the protest far more than the reasoning for it. Eventually, I realized that the Canadian federal government imposed the vaccine mandate for the trucking industry on January 15, 2022, decreeing that unvaccinated Canadian truckers re-entering Canada from the United States must “meet requirements for pre-entry, arrival and Day 8 testing, as well as quarantine requirements.”
One only need consider that truck drivers deliver goods, sometimes perishable goods, on tight timelines based on contractual obligations, to recognize that it is not reasonable to ask them to quarantine for 8 days after every trip. Therefore, realistically, any unvaccinated truck drivers would lose their ability to do their jobs, which is of course to deliver goods ‘vital’ to the Canadian and American economies.
The timing of this new mandate perplexed me—why impose it now, right at the time when several provinces had already announced plans to lift restrictions, the crisis appeared to be resolving across Canada, and more and more countries had already completely lifted covid restrictions, including vaccine passports? Not to mention that it has become clearer daily that the covid shot is completely ineffective at preventing transmission, particularly of the new variants.
To me, and apparently to the truckers, this new mandate did not make sense—and that’s the aspect of Covid measures that I have found extremely difficult. Far too often, the answers to ‘why’ have not made sense to me. I’m no ‘yes man’—I’ve always needed to know the ‘why’ in…well…everything. I need to understand the logic and reasoning behind anything I’m asked to do before I find myself capable of doing it. And, when I receive an answer, I prefer to verify it for myself. And when I can’t verify it—when it seems illogical to me, or I find conflicting information, I put on the brakes.
As announced in November and as we’ve communicated with the industry recently, starting January 15, unvaccinated Canadian truck drivers entering Canada will need to meet requirements for pre-entry, arrival and Day 8 testing, as well as quarantine requirements.
The final decision regarding entry and quarantine is made by a government representative at the port of entry, based on the information presented to them at the time.
Any individual who is symptomatic upon arrival to Canada will be directed to a Public Health Agency of Canada (PHAC) official and will be directed to isolate for 10 days from the time they enter Canada.
Interestingly, when the men and women who transport goods across North America on our behalf couldn’t understand the ‘why,’ they did the opposite—they hit the gas pedal, joining together to form a line of transport trucks that got longer and longer, heading across Canada. Initially, the energy of the line felt alive with positivity, building momentum as it approached Ontario and they fulfilled their motto to ‘keep on truckin.’ I likened this flowing energy to the Water Tiger energy I described in my post, Happy Lunar New Year 2022! The Year of Supple Strength. 2022 is the year of the ‘Water Tiger’; water tiger energy flows with grace and power along the path of least resistance. This energy feels very different from the 2021 ‘Metal Ox’ energy; metal ox energy felt like shouldering the yoke of a heavy burden, straining against the weight of it, unable to move forward.
The convoy’s arrival in Ottawa felt victorious and encouraged millions of people to join in what looked like a Canada Day celebration. Canadian news media and our leaders spun the event negatively while the rest of the world appeared to me to see the truckers as a beacon of light and hope. But then the weekend ended and the truckers stayed…while their Prime Minister left. Officials refused to meet with them. The truckers engaged their emergency brakes and stated that they would not leave until they were heard and the mandates were lifted.
The positive energy associated with the forward momentum of the moving convoy ground to a halt. The ‘water tiger’ energy stagnated back into the ‘metal ox’ energy, fuelled by government leaders seemingly determined to escalate the situation through force of will. The bridge at the border crossing was cleared, yet the Prime Minister continued to push the Emergency Measures Act, like a bull in a china shop. I personally could not get past this statement by the Ontario Premier in a press conference: “While these emergency orders will be temporary, we have every intention of bringing legislation forward that will make these measures permanent in law.” If this statement does not give you serious cause for concern, you are completely asleep at the wheel.
At the time, I messaged a friend the following:
And here’s what really concerns me with this situation: The only way the government can justify a state of emergency is if there is a situation that justifies the need to strip citizens of their freedoms, if there is a state of chaos and anarchy. The representatives for the truckers have stated repeatedly that they will not isight violence—they will not create that disorder—so far, their protest in Ottawa has been peaceful and orderly.
So, the only way to create the chaos that justifies ‘bringing legislation forward that will make these measures permanent’ is for the government to insight it themselves. What if they’re all pawns?—the truckers, the protesters, and the law enforcement officers—all pawns in the scheme to justify permanently limiting our constitutional rights and increasing their power?
And so, I also got stuck in it—sucked into the drama and indignation. Frustrated and discomforted—simply wanting the situation to dissolve away—unable to even complete a simple blog post about it. I understood why the truckers stayed and I respected them for it while at the same time desperately wishing they could simply drive away—but many of them no longer had jobs to drive away to, thanks to the new mandates. Putting on the brakes and refusing to budge was their best plan to drive home the point. Our government champions the rights of people in far-away countries like India to protest, as long as it doesn’t inconvenience us. Yet, they declare a state of emergency based on inconveniencing a small segment of the population of the people of Ottawa. Freedom is not a gift given at the convenience of a generous government, freedom is an inalienable right.
inalienable
adjective:
Unable to be taken away from or given away by the possessor.
Freedom is a right that we have taken for granted and are now in danger of losing as a result. Causing inconvenience is the point; pushing back is the point. How else will we be heard? And it is all very uncomfortable—it takes GRIT. But, then I realised, this is where the rubber hits the road—this is where we do the real work. We do not ascend in consciousness when we feel comfortable, we ascend through sitting within and truly feeling the difficult, uncomfortable feelings—the negative emotions, the grief, and the trauma. Bringing it all to the surface, shining a light on the shadow, and allowing it all to move through us. The key is not to get stuck in it—the key is to keep on truckin’.
We’re working with the ascended master collective, especially archangel michaels and gabriels. I welcome them:
We will speak as one voice through this channel. What we concern most about on the earth plane is that there is a great deal of focus on the doing for some inevitable return because, while the focus has turned to service, sometimes the ego within a soul is still tuned to the idea that the service will be recognized or that there is some condition that must be meant in order for the service to be fulfilled. Yet, sometimes it is not the physical results of the effort that is actually making the impact, it is the vibration that you are in while you are doing that is sent out to the world as the inspiration that touches the souls of many.
AAE tv | Hopeful Observations | The Council of Light | Micheila Sheldan | 2.12.22
The truckers are fulfilling their purpose and I am fulfilling mine. In the end, we don’t do it because it’s easy or lucrative. We do it because we feel passionately driven to do it regardless of the risks or rewards. Because in those moments—the ones that require GRIT—I feel grounded. I feel centred. I feel a sense of mastery. And that is true freedom.
Those of you still interested in linear history may notice the significance of this year—one hundred years after 2020—the year of ‘20/20 vision,’ or so they called it in hindsight; at the time, it seemed anything but. Yet, it was the year that changed everything for our planet, Gaia, and all the beings inhabiting her. I turned 11 that year—it was the year that I met my horse, Peter, and Dragon, and the year that changed everything for me too.
I met Peter first, on my 11th birthday and his 6th birthday. He arrived at the stable where I took riding lessons, as a surprise gift from my great-uncle—a gift with chains attached.
My mind floats back to my 11th year—a year so filled with trauma that I still shake my head in amazement when I do choose to contemplate it. Today, I can do so without emotion; it has become simply a story for me—one of many interesting, dramatic, and sometimes tragic tales from my long past. Yet, it’s the story that brought me here so, perhaps, just perhaps, it is worth telling….
***
I stand in my mother’s bedroom as the August sun sets through the open window, watching her rummage through a dresser drawer, and ask, “What are you doing?”
“Nana’s sick. Auntie and I are going to be with her on Manitoulin Island,” she replies distractedly as she skirts around me, filling a small suitcase that lays open across her bed.
“I want to come too. I want to see Nana,” I reply anxiously.
“It’s too long a trip for you, Hannah.”
“No, it’s not! Please…!”
“No,” she states flatly.
“So, you’re just leaving me here by myself?”
“Your uncle’s here.”
“He works all day. He doesn’t know how to take care of me. He can’t even cook!”
“The fridge has leftovers. You know how to fry eggs and there’s cans of soup in the pantry with those pull-off lids—you don’t even have to use the can-opener. You’re eleven now—you’re old enough to use the stove. Besides, he’ll probably just take you out for dinner.”
“What about lunch?! How many cans of soup are there? How long will you be gone?”
“Probably a week.”
“Are there enough cans of soup for a week?”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t want to stay here.”
“Why not? You and Unkie will be fine. He’ll spoil you.”
“I don’t want to be spoiled. I want to go with you.”
“No. There’s no place for you,” my mother states bluntly, completely absorbed in her packing.
I storm back to my own room and slam the door behind me.
No place for me.… The statement cuts into me. I’ve felt the sting of it many times, though my mother has never actually said it before. My dad moved away when I was too little to remember him and my parents only got together in the first place because my mom got pregnant with me. My mom’s always wanted to be an actress but it hasn’t worked out so far. We moved in with her aunt and uncle a couple years ago so she can leave me with them to go to auditions and work. The auditions are always in Toronto, over an hour away, so when she goes there, she usually stays overnight with one of her acting friends.
Mostly, my mom works as a waitress at a fancy restaurant that’s open late at night so, between that and her auditions, I don’t see her much and I think she prefers it that way. To tell the truth, I like being with my great-auntie better than my mom anyway. But, today, the thought of staying here for a week, alone with my great-uncle, makes me fidget with discomfort.
Nevertheless, early the next morning, I sit up in bed and pull aside the curtain just in time to see an SUV pull out of the driveway. My mom and great-aunt have left—without saying goodbye. And so, the words ‘there’s no place for you’ would become the last words my mother ever spoke to me.
Yet again, I started this blog post in the height of the Canadian trucker protest in mid-February, 2022, but felt far too emotionally close to the content to complete it. I intended to publish it on February 22, 2022. But, as these events continue to teach me, gaining perspective requires the time and the energy to rise up out of the duality enough to see both sides from a more neutral perspective. That feat took several weeks. Please follow the trail of the snail with me again through this resulting post….
Duality 22-02-2022
light
dark
good
evil
right
wrong
everything
nothing
On 22-02-2022, a day I not-so-fondly decreed ‘Duality Day’ due to the number of 2s in the date, I have indeed been mentally duelling duality. (I’ve never really liked the number two.) In the last month, I’ve watched instances of ‘opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something’ devolve from blatant to flagrant. Watching events in Canada play out on the world stage has felt like watching a duel—and we know those never end well. As I related in another GRIT Series post, it has required that I and You’ve Got GRIT.
In my Seven Universal Laws course, we explore the Law of Polarity (actually, it’s my favourite law). It’s a complicated law—too complicated to explore fully here (register for my course and we’ll explore it fully together!). Embodied by the yin-yang symbol that represents dark-light, negative-positive, this law states that opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree. For instance, hot and cold are merely degrees of temperature—it is impossible to say exactly where “hot” ends and “cold” begins.
Duality and polarity are closely related; I’ve been contemplating the difference between them. In Chinese philosophy, the yin-yang symbol represents dark-light, negative-positive, which appears to speak to duality; however, the shape of the symbol itself demonstrates how apparently opposite or contrary forces intertwine within one whole (the circle)—they are interconnected. As stated in the Law of Polarity, they are indeed polar, not dual—being, in fact, complementary and interdependent, as represented by the dots within each side. Within the cold, always exists some hot; within the evil, always exists some good.
The Law of Polarity
Everything is dual. Everything has poles. Everything has its pair of opposites.
Like and unlike are the same. Opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree. Extremes meet. All truths are but half-truths. All paradoxes may be reconciled.
Why, then, is mentally duelling duality dangerous? Because we fall into it when we forget the interconnectedness of all things—we lose sight of the circle and see only two parallel lines, forever separate. Yet, humans easily fall into dualistic thinking. Here’s how I did.
For better or for worse, I tuned into the Canadian trucker protest more than I typically tune into current events—both energetically and mentally. I expressed my thoughts about the energies associated with the protest in my Grinding to a Halt post.
Mentally, I watched both raw footage and news coverage of the trucker convoy and protest. This exercise alone felt like duelling duality—it required significant GRIT. The disparity between coverage by the Canadian media versus coverage by media outside Canada shocked me (yet again). Several of my close international friends sent me links to videos that shone a bright light on the Canadian truckers, calling them freedom fighters, and positive examples that other countries aspired to follow. I also received personal video footage directly from Canadian friends who joined the Ottawa protest—friends who called it a “Protestival”—smiling, dancing, in a crowded scene that looked very much like Canada Day.
In direct opposition, I listened to government officials and the media refer to what appeared to me as a very peaceful protest as an ‘unlawful occupation’ and ‘siege,’ stating that they were ‘losing the battle’ for control and required additional ‘forces.’ As noted in my other post, as a student of rhetoric—the art of persuasion—I believe that the words we choose matter. These choice of words—words typically used in reference to invasion by a foreign power—appeared to have been selected for a purpose that disturbed me greatly. They speak to war, not peace, and they paved the way for enacting the Emergencies Act, formerly the War Measures Act, a federal law that gave the Canadian government additional powers during times of “war, invasion, and insurrection, real or apprehended”—an act historically enacted only when the security of the entire country is threatened by a foreign power.
In response, the truckers encouraged one another to “hold the line”—a phrase historically associated with military tactics, in which a line of soldiers defends a geographically strategic position against an enemy breakthrough.
For my own comfort, I reviewed the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms:
PART I
Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms
Whereas Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law:
Guarantee of Rights and Freedoms
1 The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms guarantees the rights and freedoms set out in it subject only to such reasonable limits prescribed by law as can be demonstrably justified in a free and democratic society.
Fundamental Freedoms
2 Everyone has the following fundamental freedoms:
(a) freedom of conscience and religion;
(b) freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication;
(c) freedom of peaceful assembly; and
(d) freedom of association.
Again, as I discussed in my You’ve Got GRIT post, I applied Kenneth Burke’s Theory of Identification and the Scapegoat to the circumstances playing out around me; this theory states that people seek safety and identification based on coming together in opposition to a common enemy—this chosen enemy becomes the scapegoat for the group’s ills and grievances. Historically, we witnessed this theory play out in WWII when Hitler chose Jewish people as his scapegoat. But that would never happen today, right?
Did you know that the word ‘scapegoat’ actually refers to a goat? Note that, in the traditional sense, the scapegoat is not actually guilty—but is chosen arbitrarily to shoulder the burden of the guilt of others.
noun:scapegoat
a person who is blamed for the wrongdoings, mistakes, or faults of others, especially for reasons of expediency.
(in the Bible) a goat sent into the wilderness after the Jewish chief priest had symbolically laid the sins of the people upon it (Leviticus 16).
Creating a scapegoat requires reducing complex dynamics, situations, and arguments into simple, dualistic ones—a ‘black or white decision’—it’s either right or wrong, good or evil, dark or light, easy or hard, all or nothing. As humans struggling to find our way in the world around us, we naturally gravitate toward these clear divisions because they simplify decision-making and help us to ‘fit’ in.
Advertising plays upon this human desire by reducing complex ideas to dualistic ones. Advertisements create emotional or psychological discomfort or imbalance and then present the solution for correcting that imbalance; they create the fear that I have a bad problem, and then resolve the fear of that problem with a good product. The problem (which I may not have been aware I had until I watched the commercial) is bad; therefore, the product, which solves the problem, must necessarily be good. But, it’s a false argument—a false association. First, what if I don’t actually have the problem in the first place? Second, if I actually do have the problem, will the product necessarily solve it? The fact that the problem is bad, does not necessarily mean that the solution offered is good.
We can see this simplification into duality all around us. In sports, we choose a team and become emotionally invested in their success. In politics, we draw a stark line between liberal or conservative, democrat or republican. Through the pandemic, anyone who has questioned the safety of the Covid shot has been labelled an ‘anti-vaxxer;’ they are ‘bad’ because they disobey authority, and that disobedience endangers the group. But, does that make them evil? Well, it does if, in the words of my own Prime Minister, “They are extremists who don’t believe in science, they’re often misogynists, also often racists….” Misogynists and racists are not just bad, they’re really bad, maybe even evil. And voila—guilt by association—we have a scapegoat.
And then the PM applied the same guilt by association to the truckers—first, he labelled them as ‘anti-vaxxers,’ even though the leaders have clearly stated that they are protesting the mandate, not the shots; then, he intimated that they are white supremacists funded by terrorists. So, when the Canadian federal government enacts the Emergencies Act and uses it to threaten the livelihoods of these people by confiscating their vehicles, cancelling their insurance, and seizing the money in their business and personal bank accounts, we’re okay with it…because they’re evil outliers. And then, when the government uses this opportunity to permanently increase their absolute powers, we simply accept it. The Emergencies Act and these new powers would never be used against us…because we’re in the group…right?
“Oh, that’s just another conspiracy theory!” you say…? In the book Conspiracy Theory in America (Discovering America), published in 2014, author Lance deHaven-Smith explains that the CIA propagated the term “conspiracy theory” to undermine anyone who discredited the Warren Commission’s conclusion that Oswald killed President Kennedy, despite all evidence to the contrary; they proactively promoted use of the term in the media and associated ‘conspiracy theories’ with communism—guilt by association. Today, we see this derogatory term applied to discredit anyone who speaks against the mainstream narrative. Words and symbols used to create division and deepen duality.
GRIT: Go Right Into Trepidation
Aligned with Gravity; GRIT grounds us down, breaking down negative connections.
“When I resolutely face my discomfort, my fear disintegrates—my resistance dissolves.”
PLUCK: Purposeful Luck
Aligned with Levity, PLUCK raises us up, building up positive connections.
“When I intently focus on my purpose, my luck aligns—my possibilities harmonize.”
I experienced this duality personally when I received a threatening email. Why would I receive such an email? Because one of my website clients attended the Ottawa protest with his business-branded truck and the footer of his website displays my business name and link with ‘website by.’ He’s been my client for over a decade; his political views have always been completely irrelevant to, and outside the realm of, our business relationship. Yet, someone with the last name ‘Frank’ (assumedly using a false name and temporary gmail account) emailed me to warn me that “anti-science = no business.” A stranger believed they were justified in threatening my ability to make a living simply based on my association with him.
When I next spoke to my client, he related openly that he went to Ottawa with his work trailer fully stocked with supplies to offer support to the truckers—he organized garbage removal, set up a free food table, and cooked burgers for anyone who wanted one, protestor, trucker, tourist, or resident—but not a white supremacist or anyone carrying a Nazi flag because he didn’t actually see any of those. He also told me how frustrated he felt watching a mainstream media reporter purposefully position herself in front of the pile of black garbage bags they were in the process of collecting and removing, to report on the ‘mounting garbage crisis’ being created by the protestors. I interpreted my client’s actions in Ottawa as peaceful and positive; I cannot say the same for that reporter or the person who emailed me.
I watched press conferences with the leaders of the Freedom Convoy, who spoke calmly and respectfully of the right for peaceful protest and the desire for open dialogue with our leaders—leaders who adamantly refused to speak with them, choosing to retreat from Ottawa instead. (Yes, I chose the word ‘retreat’ purposefully here.)
At the same time, watching the leader of my country in live legislative debate through this conflict, quite frankly, disgusted me. His offensive language, his outright disrespect toward other members of parliament, and his adamant, downright rude refusal to even acknowledge, never mind answer, the important, relevant questions asked by the opposition, all horrified me. And stranger still, he acted like a puppet, incapable of actually responding to questions in his own words, instead repeating the same scripted response over and over, regardless of whether or not it actually fit the situation.
Watching my Prime Minister in parliament, I felt embarrassed to be Canadian. And when I watched international media channels call him out for the same transgressions, I felt ashamed that I had previously highly respected my Canadian Prime Minister. And I realized, again to my own shame, that I hadn’t respected him based on sincere investigation—in fact, I hadn’t respected him at all, I had idolized the idea of him, based on nostalgia for his father who led Canada as I was coming of age. The reality of this leader’s choice of words and actions has departed radically from my idealized, mythical persona of him—an archetype, not a person. Shame on me for forming an opinion based on emotionally-driven idealism rather than real insight.
I had reduced a complex political decision down to choosing simply based on who I identified as the ‘golden boy,’ ‘the ‘good guy’—a dualistic decision. And I now see so many decisions I made in the past from a place of simplified duality. I fully believed that one political wing was always good and the other bad; one news outlet consistently reliable and the other inconsistent and unreliable; some countries had the best interests of people at heart and others were against them. ‘Informed’ people agreed and anyone who disagreed was…misguided. Why? Because staying on the surface and picking a consistent side was way easier than digging deeply into the nitty-gritty details, critically assessing them, and independently deciding upon each one.
But, over the last few years, I have met more people whose opinions depart from these black-and-white assumptions. And I continue to see more and more examples that contradict my previous assumptions. The more blatant examples I see, and the more willing I become to listen to multiple opinions openly and without prejudice, the more I realize that people and situations are far too complex, far too multifaceted and vibrantly coloured to be broken down into stark black-and-white dualities.
In the dualistic perspective, two people may believe that they are standing at opposite ends of a straight line (perhaps preparing to draw their pistols in a duel), until we introduce a third perspective who rises high above them to see the whole picture—the line is actually a circle—and, if the two people walk far enough along it in opposite directions, they will eventually meet. From the dualistic perspective, all truths are but half-truths. But, from a higher perspective, everything is interconnected—the poles are neutralized. In this way, all paradoxes may be reconciled. This is the universal Law of Polarity.
The trucker protest has quickly dissolved into the background. Now, I am watching the same dualistic over-simplification play out within the Russia-Ukraine crisis. But, I’ve learned—it’s not black and white—it is a complicated, deeply-rooted situation based on very complex and likely subversive dynamics that are extremely difficult to ascertain because the messages we are receiving about it are being purposefully managed to manipulate us into blindly choosing a side. I will not. Yet again, I find myself declining to do what I’m told. So be it.
The trucker protest, and my government’s response to it, reminded me to accept negative emotions and to allow them to move through me rather than resisting them until they come Grinding to a Halt and get stuck. This experience has also reminded me (yet again) to rise above the dualistic playing field high enough to become the third-person observer who is able to see the situation differently, and to find neutrality knowing that we are all connected.
Stand Behind the Short Wall
“Stand behind the short wall” means if you’re into causes and battles, even if you’re righteous as hell, you’re helping to perpetuate causes and battles. Battling for the light, my dear friends, is as imbalanced as it is to battle for the dark, because there is no battle at all. Battling right now…it’s not your place on the planet. There are others who are doing it, and they’re doing a great job in perpetuating duality. And the fact is there’s no need to.
Around the bend, our stone mason, Gil, works slowly and steadfastly on a dry stone wall that will replace one of the paddock fences. A solid, muscular man, he lifts a carefully selected stone up into place with ease and precision. These are Gil’s weeping walls; laying down each stone brings him peace, for he carried a heavy burden for too long.
Gil arrived as a giant named Goliath—the Goliath, you ask? Yes, the Goliath. He appeared at the edge of the clearing one day with an iron collar locked around his neck, connected by a heavy chain to a huge boulder enclosed within an iron cage. Before we saw him, we heard his footsteps and felt the vibration of the boulder thudding onto the earth again and again, creating shallow craters as he struggled forward.
That day, I followed the thunderous sound to the edge of the paddock, and watched Goliath slowly advance up our gravel lane. He would lift the boulder up against his chest and struggle forward with it four or five steps, then drop it in front of him again with a resounding thud. So heavy was this burden he carried.
Always the brave horse, Dragon followed me along the inside of the fence, as Peter galloped in the opposite direction toward the farthest shelter—oh, Peter, must you forever be a flight animal who never actually flies?
For several seconds, Dragon and I stood transfixed, staring at the approaching giant in awe mixed with dread—I don’t know about Dragon, but I had never seen a giant before.
Then, as Goliath strained to pick the boulder back up again, his large face contorted with the gargantuan effort, my heart filled with compassion for him. I leapt lightly over the fence and onto the path to meet him.
Dragon turned his head toward me and nickered. Internally, I heard the voice that sounds like mine state, “He carries the weight of all of the atrocities that the race of Giants has ever committed—a heavy, heavy burden. Yet, hidden within it is a great gift.”
A Gift? As I heard the words, images flashed within my head at lightning speed and all thought of a gift receded. I knew that, if I let it happen, the entire Akashic record of Giants would download to me in that instant—lifetimes of experiences combined to form the story of an entire race. A story in which, of course, I played a part—otherwise, he would not be here. And I began to feel rage build within me, for the Giants vibrated on the level of anger for far too long.
But, no, I would not experience it then—I had learned. My knees buckled under me as I reached the giant, and he and I both collapsed to the ground together. His head hit the earth heavily at my knees and his eyes rolled back into his head. The voice informed me again, “He has chosen exhaustion as his modus operandi.”
I gently closed his eyelids and then placed my left hand on his head, and my right hand on the gravel, digging my fingers into the dry dirt. Energy coursed through me, pulsing with power, heating my body, my skin to tingling, itching, burning. It’s just heat, I told myself, just heat. Breathe in the cool air, breathe deeply. Feel the cool earth. I am simply the conduit. The energy passed through me, and the earth, ever gracious, ever willing, received it, grounded it, dissolved it. This is alchemy. And then the buzzing dissipated, as quickly as it had started. My fingers felt cool again; my hand instinctively shifted from his head to his arm in a gesture of comfort.
A fresh wind cooled my shoulders, the warm sun displaced with shadow, as Dragon in his true form cleared the fence and us with one powerful thrust of his dragon wings. He headed high into the sky, as if to survey the situation from a higher perspective, and then spiralled back down to us. He landed facing me, with the heavy iron chain that still connected the giant to the boulder between us. Faster than I could fathom, one powerful wrench of Dragon’s long talons broke a single link of the chain and it fell apart.
The movement of the giant’s arm under my hand returned my focus to him as he changed before my eyes, fading to semi-transparent for an instant as his body condensed down to match the size of a tall man. Though still a giant at heart, this lighter, more limber body would serve him better here.
Helpers arrived with a stretcher. They gently lifted his head, now the size his neck had been, and slipped the iron collar up over it before rolling him gently onto the stretcher. His eyes remained closed. He required water, sustenance, and, most of all, rest.
As they carried him off to a soft bed, my focus returned to the boulder. For it too had shrunk down into a smooth oval stone that easily rolled out of its iron cage. I watched, perplexed, as Dragon nudged the stone with their nose, paused as if listening, and then grasped it in their strong talons and flew across the paddock with it.
I ducked between the fence rails and headed toward our camp in time to see Dragon deposit the stone gently into the centre of our fire pit. Peter also watched cowardly from within the shadow of the overhang of the shelter in the farthest corner.
Then, Dragon reared up high on their hind legs, thrust their wings outward, stretched their neck toward the stone and seared it with the brightest, hottest, fire I have ever seen come forth from Dragon’s mouth. The heat of the blast flushed my cheeks and neck red as I approached; the ground felt warm under the souls of my bare feet.
Dragon blinked his soft amber eyes at me and we both gazed at the stone as one crack, then two, travelled over its surface. And then, an outer crust fell away to reveal what looked like a large, dark, pearlescent egg. In truth, a dragon egg. Such a gift.
Enduring this time in history continues to require some significant GRIT—the willingness to Go Right Into Trepidation and sit in it.‘This time’ actually refers to mid-February 2022 and the height of a protest in my nation’s capital city of Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. I attempted to complete this blog post then, but my emotions felt so tumultuous that I found myself completely stuck, unable to grasp enough clarity to express my thoughts in words. And, so, I have completed yet another post as slow as a snail….
For as long as I can remember, I have seen the world differently from almost everyone I know—and the older I get, the more acutely I feel this difference. In university, I studied rhetoric—the art of persuasion. That education included understanding theories of persuasion and the importance of symbols, including techniques used historically to manipulate people. Since then, I have seen the world through the lens of rhetoric.
Through practice, I honed attention to detail and awareness of nuance into my own personal micropower. In 2003, when I escaped corporate business into my own small business venture, I chose the slogan “See Differently.”
My business website states that the purpose of my business is:
Helping You to:
Look deeper.
Change perspective.
Envision more.
Make new connections.
See differently.
In fact, I even published a business blog post with the following mission statement, which felt rather daring at the time (before spiritually-based small businesses had trended):
Seeing differently describes how I aspire to view the world. That’s why my mission is to help you to see differently—to bring a fresh perspective to your business communications; to help you to move out of that proverbial box in which we can all get stuck; and to help you to see what your customers see.
I believe:
Anything that “everybody knows” is worth further investigation.
Our decisions should be based on information rather than assumption.
We are all on a spiritual journey, whether we realize it or not.
You have to believe it to see it.
You create your universe.
It’s your life; make it a beautiful one.
Namaste!
Today, I continue to recognize that we all see the world through the lens of language, whether we realise it or not. The words we choose and hear matter. I have listened closely to the words chosen by those in power during this pandemic with dismay, disbelief, and eventually with shock and dread. I have applied rhetorical theories like Kenneth Burke’s Theory of Identification and the Scapegoat to the circumstances playing out around me; this theory states that people seek safety and identification based on coming together in opposition to a common enemy—this chosen enemy becomes the scapegoat for all of their ills and grievances.
Did you know that the word ‘scapegoat’ actually refers to a goat? Note that, in the traditional sense, the scapegoat is not actually guilty—but is chosen arbitrarily to shoulder the burden of the guilt of others.
noun:scapegoat
a person who is blamed for the wrongdoings, mistakes, or faults of others, especially for reasons of expediency.
(in the Bible) a goat sent into the wilderness after the Jewish chief priest had symbolically laid the sins of the people upon it (Leviticus 16).
Leviticus 20:22, Holy Bible, New International Version:
20 When Aaron has finished making atonement for the Most Holy Place, the tent of meeting and the altar, he shall bring forward the live goat. 21 He is to lay both hands on the head of the live goat and confess over it all the wickedness and rebellion of the Israelites—all their sins—and put them on the goat’s head. He shall send the goat away into the wilderness in the care of someone appointed for the task. 22 The goat will carry on itself all their sins to a remote place; and the man shall release it in the wilderness.
In early January 2022, a friend sent me a link to a televised interview with the leader of my country, in which he stated that anyone who has chosen not to get the Covid shot is an ‘anti-vaxxer.’ He stated (translated from French): “They are extremists who don’t believe in science, they’re often misogynists, also often racists…. It’s a small group that muscles in, and we have to make a choice in terms of leaders, in terms of the country. Do we tolerate these people?”
Watching this interview, listening to these words—the words of the person leading my country—literally sent me into a state of shock and trepidation for several days, in which I walked around like a zombie and actually found myself rocking back and forth in my chair. Why did it matter so much to me? Because I am the scapegoat he referred to in the interview.
I am and always will be pro-choice. I believe each individual has an inalienable right to choose what they believe to be in their best interest. I believe everyone is born with the right to decide what happens to their bodies, including what they put into it or choose to avoid putting into it. And I exercised that right when I chose not to get the Covid shot—and I made the choice based on science, real science.
As a Canadian, I have trusted my government to protect my right to choose as explicitly stated in the Canadian Constitution—our Charter of Rights and Freedoms. With disbelief, then dismay, then despair, I have been watching these fundamental rights crumble. Further, rather than upholding my rights and freedoms, the leader of my country has publicly, blatantly, demonized me and others like me who have chosen against this jab; he has gone so far as to state that I am an extremist and to intimate that I am a misogynist and a racist and that, perhaps, I am someone who should not be ‘tolerated.’
If our government decreed that I should no longer be tolerated, how would that intolerance play out in this so-called democratic country? Arrest? Forced removal from my home and family? Forced vaccination? Confinement in a ‘quarantine camp,’ a.k.a. concentration camp? If you don’t think Canada capable of such feats, look back to actions taken against select groups under the War Measures Act in WWI and WWII. It felt rather ironically fitting that I experienced episodes of significant physical discomfort during this time, with jaw, head, neck, and shoulder pain due to grinding my teeth at night; it seemed even sleeping required GRIT.
grit
noun:
small loose particles of stone or sand.
courage and resolve; strength of character.
verb:
move with or make a grating sound.
I’ve lived a very privileged life as a white, middle-class person in a highly developed and prosperous country. I used to very egotistically consider my country to be one of the very best—one of the most tolerant, progressive, peace-keeping, and ‘right-minded’ countries in the world. Recent events have humbled that opinion considerably. Until recently, in this lifetime anyway, I had never experienced open prejudice or segregation. Never. I had never found myself in an ostracized minority of any kind. This experience has been eye-opening. I have gained an understanding and empathy for people who have experienced prejudice that I simply could not relate to previously—perhaps intellectually, but not on an emotional level, which is where true empathy lives. Saying this, I fully recognize that I experienced this prejudice as a non-visible minority, which is much easier than experiencing it as a visible one—I could hide my status most of the time.
Outside of a very small, select group of kindred spirits with whom I share the same views, I have done my best to keep my choices, and the opinions associated with them, to myself during these contentious times. Keeping my mouth shut has proven a heavy burden. Even in my own home, I bite my tongue regularly, and when I don’t, I often regret it. That attempt at silence has come at the steep price of loneliness, isolation, alienation, and significant doses of despair. At what point does the price required to ‘stay on good terms’ with everyone—to remain polite and submissive at all times, no matter how grievously I disagree with their opinions, no matter how uncomfortable it feels—become too steep a ransom to continue to dole out? At this point.
GRIT: Go Right Into Trepidation
Aligned with Gravity; GRIT grounds us down, breaking down negative connections.
“When I resolutely face my discomfort, my fear disintegrates—my resistance dissolves.”
PLUCK: Purposeful Luck
Aligned with Levity, PLUCK raises us up, building up positive connections.
“When I intently focus on my purpose, my luck aligns—my possibilities harmonize.”
I will not lower myself to defend why I am not an extremist, misogynist, or racist—those accusations are truly absurd. My Prime Minister also stated that I “don’t believe in science.” This statement is also completely untrue, but perhaps the only accusation worthy of a response:
I have always sought knowledge; from a young age, I have been an avid reader of nonfiction, particularly in the subjects of spirituality, health, and well-being. For years, I have actually been quite obsessed with health-related information. It started as a teenager when my family sought to improve our health through a strict diet—we purchased and I read a multitude of books that promised optimal health. When, instead of becoming healthier, I became increasingly unwell on the expounded diet, it led me to investigate further. I learned the hard way that much of the information presented emphatically in those books as ‘fact’ and ‘proven science’ was actually only opinion and theory—theory that I disproved through my own bodily experiment. It took me years to recover from that experiment, and my recovery occurred in spite of the medical care I received, not through it—it happened when I finally took full responsibility for my own health journey.
When I became pregnant with my first child, someone casually suggested to me that there could be health concerns with childhood vaccines and perhaps I should investigate them. I did—with my usual level of intense interest. I read a multitude of books on the subject and countless articles. I became so immersed in the subject that I wrote fact sheets on it for a Canadian non-profit, pro-choice organization.
When a dear family member began treatment for cancer, I delved into understanding cancer treatments and inadvertently discovered that many effective treatments and actual cancer cures have been vehemently suppressed and replaced with patented pharmaceutical options that make corporations and the healthcare industry billions of dollars, but simply do not work.
The deeper I delved into different areas of the subject of how to be healthy, the more I discovered, to my amazement, that it is rampant with opposing theories, discordant views, personal and collective bias, blatant misinformation, statistical tampering, skewed studies, corporate lobbying and greed. My education in rhetoric—in understanding the art of persuasion through language—equipped me well to identify false arguments and emotional manipulation.
Based on what I consider a resulting very healthy distrust of pharmaceutical-dominated mainstream medicine, I subscribe to a number of alternative health information sources that have earned my trust over the last twenty years and I choose alternative approaches to healthcare whenever possible. When I was asked to inject a fast-tracked, unapproved, minimally tested, experimental gene therapy into my body, I said ‘no.’ Emphatically. And, quite frankly, I assumed that most other people would too. Goodness knows, I was in for a surprise.
Based on my choice to say ‘no’ in the face of most other peoples’ willingness to say ‘yes’ to this medical intervention, I have experienced a loss of freedom. I lost the freedom to eat at a restaurant or go to the theatre. I’ve missed funerals and seeing dear friends who live afar. I’ve been politely excused from functions. I was less politely un-invited to a party by close friends who stated, “we know you’re unvaccinated and other people coming know it too”—despite, as I mentioned earlier, my choice to keep my non-compliance almost completely to myself. I’ve gritted my teeth through countless comments and full-out rants from personal and business acquaintances, and even strangers, extolling the virtues of ‘doing the right thing’ and the evils of the irresponsible and selfish people like me who are endangering everyone. Perhaps you believe that I deserve every one of these slights. So be it. You have a right to your opinion. Yet, I’m still not buyin’ it. I must and I will continue to follow my own intuitive, inner knowingness, even when it leads me to a lonely place.
It is an illusion that merely fighting for your freedoms is going to set you free. The only thing that sets you free is being all of you. No matter what.
And, based on the government’s decision to mandate the Covid jab, I have a number of friends, all of whom are highly educated, who have lost their livelihoods—not just ‘jobs,’ but established, successful careers—because they too said ‘no.’ Some of them are healthcare workers, some university employees and professors. Believe it or not (although it often feels like it), I’m not alone in the opinion that the risks of this shot outweigh the benefits. People willing to risk their family’s financial stability and their professional reputations in order to protect their personal health, bodily autonomy, and right to choose—these people have certainly demonstrated GRIT.
In fact, many doctors, scientists, and experts in fields that afford them very knowledgeable opinions on this subject, believe—based on an ever-expanding body of sound scientific data—that this shot does far more harm than good. And many of them have jeopardized their careers, the well-being of their families, and their own safety (no, I’m not exaggerating) for speaking out about it. But, you likely haven’t heard about them because social media platforms and the mainstream media have aggressively censored them. They have been censored, not only for messages targeted as ‘misinformation,’ but for any messages perceived as contributing to ‘vaccine hesitancy,’ even when proof of the accuracy of the facts within the message is acknowledged. Yet, these people have continued to speak out despite being targeted and defamed. Now, that’s GRIT.
For my part, do I regret my decision? Absolutely not. Would I make the same choice again? Absolutely. Even if I am completely alone in my choice. Even if my rights and freedoms were to be severely restricted as a result. The phrase ‘over my dead body’ emotes how strongly I reject what I wholeheartedly believe to be this unsafe, ineffective medical intervention.
Standing firm in my conviction feels more comfortable now than when I started writing this post—speaking my truth has truly liberated me from the emotional angst associated with it, though it definitely required a willingness to Go Right Into Trepidation and sit in it for a while. Attempting to ignore, suppress, or resist the uncomfortable feelings did indeed prove futile. Accepting the discomfort is part and parcel of ‘seeing differently’ and the reason I created PACTS—Powerful Acts of Consciousness, Truth, and Sovereignty. And, the more I find the courage to calmly state my viewpoint from my perspective without hesitation or apology, the more kindred spirits appear to me, who just happen to align with it. Together, we seek peace and I remember that I am not alone. Freedom lives here.
2020, despite being dubiously dubbed the ‘Year of the Pandemic,’ also initiated the end of sickness. I was never sick again. And humanity, having undergone their own subconscious purging, also grew well.
In the decade following the great disruption, known later as the ‘Great Reset,’ disease symptoms mysteriously, magically, miraculously regressed: tumours shrunk; cancer cells dissolved; remissions occurred spontaneously—irregardless of the latest medications, outside the realms of scientific advancement, devoid of any kind of overt intervention at all. And, much to the horror of the pharmaceutical companies and medical elite who had subversively perpetuated illness of all kinds in the name of profit for so many years to feed the insatiable greed of so few.
For a while, the medical experts attempted to take credit for the recoveries—even flouting the completely ineffective and damaging vaccines that had been mandated as responsible—and continuing courses of treatment that were no longer needed. But, eventually, people simply stopped buying them. For once, notwithstanding concerted censorship campaigns, the millions of anecdotal stories online and offline that simply would not die outweighed official mainstream news reports.
For a longer while, pharmaceutical companies attempted to maintain control by marketing recreational drugs, like synthetic marijuana, and even cocaine, but they simply didn’t sell—people felt healthy, happy, optimistic—they didn’t need numbed sensibilities or artificial highs anymore.
What’s the simplest way to topple a power structure as big as pharmaceutically-driven Western medicine? Be well. It became more contagious than Covid (which wasn’t that hard), but completely outside the need for deceit or fear-mongering. The result? An entire system, an entire power structure—an entire paradigm—simply cleared up along with the symptoms. And we were free—liberated before many realized they had ever been imprisoned—the victory without the need for the war. And thus, wellness became just one part of the very unexpected, Greatest Reset.
Way back in 2010, I completed a questionnaire that asked, “What is your dream job?” I recently stumbled across my response.
At the time, I pondered the word ‘dream,’ which I associated with fantasy, not ‘reality.’ (Today, I looked up the definition and noted that it does indeed speak to an ‘ambition.’ But, way back then, the Internet had not yet made dictionary definitions instantly accessible.)
Here’s how I responded:
noun: dream
A series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person’s mind during sleep.
A cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.
What is my dream job? Stone Mason
Yes, stone mason. You did say dream job. My spine tingles every time I see an old, solid stone wall meandering along the edge of a farm, or surrounding the garden of a historic house. I’m sure I was a stone mason in a recently-passed life.
As a child, I collected stones wherever I went—my mom routinely emptied my pockets before laundering my outfits. I still can’t resist picking up an unusually pretty little rock on a walk. I deem beach glass a valuable treasure. I even designed a custom-built windowseat for our sunroom with glass-topped end tables, under which to display these treasures. These days, my two children add their own found treasures to the collection.
My fascination with stone walls expanded with the novel, The Secret Life of Bees. May’s ‘wailing wall,’ into which she unburdened her grief, captivated my own desires to somehow transform emotion into a concrete, lasting form. Words cemented onto a page; feelings captured in stone.
Human life is transient, but a stone structure stands resolute in defiance of time. I aspire to build a stone wall someday and I dream of an outdoor stone fireplace. But, otherwise, my dream job will remain a fantasy.
This past week, I felt burdened by the weight of heavy, stagnant, suffocating energy that has seemed to envelop years, decades, perhaps even lifetimes, of stuck, suppressed emotions. I felt innerwhelmed with pent-up angst, anger, and frustration—impending implosion.
This weekend, still feeling antsy and discombobulated, I nervously fidgeted around the house for as long as I could buttress, before finally settling into tiling a small section of our basement bathroom floor. The position, which required crawling across the cold concrete on my hands and knees, felt fitting.
How to move this stuck energy? All of my inner and outer guidance instructed me to ‘sit with it.’ Easier said than done. First, ‘sitting with it’ feels intensely uncomfortable and requires a significant amount of self-discipline—it definitely requires GRIT to Go Right Into Trepidation; second, I had too damn much shit to do. We’ve been attempting to complete a small, ‘manageable’ renovation project in our modest house…for the last year-and-a-half—with more impediments than I know you have the patience to read about. Suffice to say, our progress has been snail-paced.
So many complications….
GRIT: Go Right Into Trepidation
Aligned with Gravity; GRIT grounds us down, breaking down negative connections.
“When I resolutely face my discomfort, my fear disintegrates—my resistance dissolves.”
PLUCK: Purposeful Luck
Aligned with Levity, PLUCK raises us up, building up positive connections.
“When I intently focus on my purpose, my luck aligns—my possibilities harmonize.”
So many delays….
After multiple postponements, our flooring company finally confirmed delivery of hardwood for our three bedrooms, and set an installation date for later this month. Our ‘hurry up and wait,’ shortened to ‘hurry up.’ In preparation for installing the hardwood, we must completely empty out all three fully occupied bedrooms. And, to enable that task, we must finish renovating the section of our basement that will become our new master bedroom, and then move into it.
Overwhelm at the number of odd jobs to complete resulted in my atypical paralysis (outwardly exhibited as procrastination), until the impending deadline reanimated me into frantically turning in circles (outwardly exhibited as complete ineptness). The long list of tasks required to reach our goal included tiling the section under the basement bathroom vanity that the person we hired to tile the floor left bare. Why? Because I somehow managed to underestimate the quantity of tile required and he was too rushed to wait for me to run into the city for more. His solution? To simply leave the section under the bathroom vanity bare, based on the presumption that no one would ever see it. Clever thriftiness…except that he didn’t realize that the style of our new vanity afforded a view underneath it.
So, after lamenting my miscalculation for weeks and then procrastinating to correct it a few more, I finally dawned dusty, paint-splattered work clothes, got down on my hands and knees, and laid out the additional tiles I had purchased to finish the job—little hexagonal tiles. As someone who revels in a jig-saw puzzle and adores sacred geometry, I found this task surprisingly pleasurable. Why did I resist doing this for so long?!
With the tiles mapped out, I mixed the cement. Oh, the cement! I had no idea how sensationally smooth tile cement is. I thought to myself, Have I missed my calling? Is floor tiling my dream job?! This texture is intensely enjoyable! And, then, I slathered the glorious goo onto the bare cement floor and spread it with the trowel…thereby producing the most cringe-worthy, gravely gravelly, grittily grating sound I have ever experienced. I shuddered as another entrepreneurial venture ground to a halt.
Yet, I felt better—perhaps working with my hands had distracted me from the heavy feelings. Maybe, closer contact with the ground had grounded me. Or, perhaps, I had cemented some of the seemingly tangibly heavy feelings permanently under the little hexagonal tiles. However it happened, I felt my burden lightened enough to write a blog post.
How both PLUCK and GRIT continue to influence my creative process:
PLUCK: Purposeful Luck
Writing the story requires PLUCK—Purposeful Luck. I build the story up, like a stone mason carefully places the best rocks to build a solid foundation, slowly selecting and adjusting each stone. With some luck, and a lot of patience, they fit together well.
GRIT: Going Right Into Trepidation
Editing the story requires GRIT—Go Right Into Trepidation. And then, I expose it to scrutiny—does the work stand up to the rumbling of uninvested eyes? I quake, then face the need for improvements. With GRIT, I grind off the rough edges and, sometimes, I even break down entire sections and rebuild them again, stronger and more elegantly.
My ‘real’ dream job? Writer
As a writer, I’ve accomplished in decades what I indicated in that questionnaire I aspired to accomplish in months. Just like, as DIY renovators, my family has accomplished in over a year what we aspired to accomplish in weeks. (I mentioned in the Thrivival Introduction that my spirit animal is a turtle.) Persevering for so long has required some GRIT—the willingness to Go Right Into Trepidation and ‘sit in it.’ Dream jobs still require a lot of hard labour. Yet, the struggle supports the artefact—stone metaphors have found their way into virtually all of my works of fiction, including the expert from Genevieve’s Worlds below and the one in my Digging Deeply into the Nitty-GRIT-ty Details post.
And, after all, if I’m an eternal spiritual being with infinity as my playground, as I explore in my I AM Series, perhaps the time it’s taken to build a strong foundation doesn’t matter.
We’re working with the ascended master collective, especially archangel michaels and gabriels. I welcome them:
We will speak as a one voice through this channel. What we concern most about on the earth plane is that there is a great deal of focus on the doing for some inevitable return because, while the focus has turned to service, sometimes the ego within a soul is still tuned to the idea that the service will be recognized or that there is some condition that must be meant in order for the service to be fulfilled. Yet, sometimes it is not the physical results of the effort that is actually making the impact, it is the vibration that you are in while you are doing that is sent out to the world as the inspiration that touches the souls of many.
* Excerpt from Genevieve’s Worlds, Chapter 11 Undecad: The Weeping Wall
The Weeping Wall
Constance looks up toward us and then joins us with Pippa purring in her arms. “Do you feel sad, Genevieve?” she asks, looking closely into my tear-filled eyes.
“Yes, I feel sad,” I tell her, honestly.
“Why?”
“Because I have to leave here soon. Because I’ll miss you and Eve.” Pippa meows and jumps from Constance’s arms into my lap. “And Pippa,” I add, as I lift her up. “And everything about this place.”
Constance asks solemnly, “Would you like to put a message in the weeping wall?”
“The weeping wall?” I reply, “What’s that?”
“It’s over there.” She points to the tumbled-down stone dyke. “It will make you feel better.”
“Okay. How do I do it?”
“You write out what’s making you sad or afraid on a piece of paper and fold it up and put it between two stones in the weeping wall. And then a stone grows around it so it can never hurt you again. And you feel better.” She shrugs her narrow shoulders as if it sounds simple and perfectly reasonable.
“Okay, let’s do it,” I reply.
“I’ll get a pen and paper!” Constance yells over her shoulder as she runs through the archway toward the cottage.
…
Constance returns, out of breath, holding up a black felt-tip pen and a small notepad. We kneel down side-by-side in front of the stone bench and I pause, considering how to word my thought for the weeping wall to capture. What am I afraid of? Why am I sad about leaving, really? Because I feel lonely at home but I don’t here. I’m afraid of being alone again. That’s it. I write it down: I’m sad when I’m alone. I don’t like being lonely. I don’t want to be alone anymore.
Constance instructs me to fold up my paper into a small square and then we find a crevice in between the tumbled-down rocks and I push it into it as far as I can.
Constance states in her wide-eyed, mysterious voice, “Tonight, a stone will grow around it.” Then, matter-of-factly, “We can check it in the morning.”
“Okay.” I pause, “But, what if the stone breaks open? Will my sad thought come alive again?”
Constance shrugs her little shoulders, “They turn into fossils.”
“But, fossils take billions of years to form,” I reply.
Eve chimes in, “Not here. Here, they happen in…”
I join her voice to complete her thought, smiling, “…in no time!”
I revel in words, delight in definitions, and relish acronyms. For instance, the acronym PACTS—Powerful Acts of Consciousness, Truth, and Sovereignty—forms the foundation of Thrivival itself. I have also indulged in playing with acronyms in my middle-grade novel, Genevieve’s Worlds. In the final chapter, 12 Duodecad: GRIT, 11-year-old, Genevieve, works up the GRIT to Go Right Into Trepidation to reach her goals, which required determination and some ground work. Not unlike my own gritty trek to share Genevieve’s success with young readers.
GRIT: Go Right Into Trepidation
Aligned with Gravity; GRIT grounds us down, breaking down negative connections.
“When I resolutely face my discomfort, my fear disintegrates—my resistance dissolves.”
PLUCK: Purposeful Luck
Aligned with Levity, PLUCK raises us up, building up positive connections.
“When I intently focus on my purpose, my luck aligns—my possibilities harmonize.”
In April 2020, through a local literary festival, I gained the opportunity to meet online with a children’s book editor for a major, international publishing company to discuss an excerpt from my middle-grade novel, Genevieve’s Worlds. The opportunity required some PLUCK—Purposeful LUCK. First, it required paying a fee to have my submitted excerpt read and considered. I waffled over this process—I had already paid various fees through workshops, contests, and critiques, to have various experts tell me that my manuscript ‘has potential.’ Positive feedback only goes so far. But, my husband’s colleague had found a publisher through this very process, so, maybe, I would too—with a little PLUCK.
I submitted my entry and received an invitation to meet with an editor. In fact, the organizer very graciously and conscientiously juggled the schedule to connect me with the editor they considered most appropriate for my novel. I rejoiced at my good fortune.
And, as luck would have it, in my online meeting with the editor, she proactively requested to read the entire novel to provide feedback and consider it for publication. Could this be my big break into publishing?! I eagerly sent her my draft and then patiently awaited a response. She had stated that her department was backlogged—it could take several months for her to respond back to me with feedback, but she assured me that she would, whether she wanted to publish the book or not.
I waited….
How both PLUCK and GRIT continue to influence my creative process:
PLUCK: Purposeful Luck
Writing the story requires PLUCK—Purposeful Luck. I build the story up, like a stone mason carefully places the best rocks to build a solid foundation, slowly selecting and adjusting each stone. With some luck, and a lot of patience, they fit together well.
GRIT: Going Right Into Trepidation
Editing the story requires GRIT—Go Right Into Trepidation. And then, I expose it to scrutiny—does the work stand up to the rumbling of uninvested eyes? I quake, then face the need for improvements. With GRIT, I grind off the rough edges and, sometimes, I even break down entire sections and rebuild them again, stronger and more elegantly.
And, I waited….
A year-and-a-half later, my patience had completely run out—and, I must admit, I had begun to feel bitter. She had gone above and beyond the intention of the meeting by proactively requesting to review my novel. She had looked me in the eye (through her laptop camera) and clearly committed to me that she would respond with feedback. Had she simply changed her mind and couldn’t be bothered to let me know? She couldn’t have been that swamped—in the meantime, I had followed her public Instagram account and watched her post images regularly of a record number of completed jig-saw puzzles. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love jig-saw puzzles, but seriously?! I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt—had she lost my manuscript? Had it fallen through the cracks of her in-box?
There is a very clearly written rule that authors seeking publishers never hound an editor with a follow-up. Never ever. An aspiring author is completely at the mercy of the editor. Yet, I felt that her integrity required a response—she had asked to read my manuscript. Like my protagonist, Genevieve, does in the novel the editor had committed to review, I finally worked up enough GRIT to, very uncomfortably, Go Right Into Trepidation, and write her a very polite follow-up email.
Twenty long days after sending the follow-up, and just about the time I concluded that she never actually intended to follow through, she did. Glory day. She had indeed read Genevieve’s Worlds and did provide helpful feedback. However, she indicated that, “While I liked the story a lot, it just didn’t quite resonate with me in the way I needed it to in order to move ahead.”
So, after over a year-and-a-half of waiting and hoping, I found myself back at square one; well, perhaps at square three. Her feedback indicated that the story (which I had already divided into two books and then revised heavily) still needed further condensing to improve the ‘pacing.’ I couldn’t help but wonder, Is it even readable and publishable as a middle-grade novel? —and I actually worked up the additional GRIT required to ask her.
She replied immediately, “I think it’s readable for middle grade! And the themes work for middle grade. It’s really the pacing and length that will help place it more firmly in that age range.”
And, so, my GRIT resulted in a small, pebble-sized victory. I braced myself to Go Right Into Trepidation again by digging into the next round of extensive editing—on to version three.
Perhaps the talent to architect a book mentally and then compose it into words perfectly from the outset marks a truly brilliant writer. If that is the case, I am not a brilliant writer. In my experience, completing a first draft marks the beginning, not the end of the process. I tend to write once, edit three times…possibly more—stay tuned. But, I hope that, if I am not a brilliant writer, I am at least a very good editor. It’s a process that requires both some PLUCK and a lot of GRIT.
* Excerpt from Genevieve’s Worlds, Chapter 12 Duodecad: GRIT
GRIT
Monday, November 25, 2024
I spend the rest of the weekend deep in thought and then find myself back at school, sitting in Mrs. Gurmel’s small office. Of course, she wants to talk about what happened in the gym on Friday, when I fainted. She wants to talk about why it happened.
“I don’t know,” I reply, a bit impatiently, “I just felt…I don’t know, like I didn’t want to be there.” I pause, looking down at my lap, then gain courage and state with a newfound assertiveness, “I don’t like this school.” Then, I quickly add, “No offence, this school is great and everything. It’s just not…it’s not the right school for me. I don’t want to be in a class with older kids—I want to be with kids my own age.”
“No offence taken.” She pauses. “Well, it sounds to me like you do know.” Then, that wide grin brightens her face again. “I think what you need is some grit,” she says, very gleefully, slapping her palms on her thighs.
“Grit?” I question, hesitantly.
“Yes, GRIT. Why don’t you look it up?”
“Now?”
“Yes, now. Use my laptop.” She retrieves her closed laptop from the little desk, opens it on the round side table in front of us and types ‘define: grit’:
Grit. Noun: 1. Small, loose particles of stone or sand. 2. Courage and resolve; strength of character. Synonyms: courage, bravery, pluck, mettle, backbone, spirit, strength of character, strength of will, moral fibre, steel, nerve, fortitude, toughness, hardiness, resolve, resolution, determination, tenacity, perseverance, endurance.
“Ahh,” I say to myself, then to Mrs. Gurmel, “That’s a good word!”
“Yup, one of the best. Always write it in capital letters. GRIT.”
“But, aren’t you really just telling me that I have to ‘grin and bear it’? Endure it even though I don’t like it because there’s nothing I can do about it? ‘Cause, that’s not really that encouraging.”
“Certainly not! People with GRIT don’t endure bad things, they change them for the better!”
“Hmm…” I pause, “But, my Mom said she won’t do anything. The closest school with an enriched program is full. And the next closest school is too far away from where we live. She says I have to stay here.”
“Well, maybe it’s time for you to do something.”
“Umm, like what? What can I do?”
“Advocate for yourself. Set a goal. If you think another school will suit you better, you need to investigate your options. Do some research! Seems to me that visiting those schools and talking to some people there will help you to know for sure if one of them is a better fit for you. And, if it is, then we figure out how to get you in.”
“How can I do that? I’m just a kid.”
“Well, it’s gonna take some GRIT, that’s for sure. And a plan. All worthwhile goals require a plan of action. Strategic planning, that’s what we need.” She slaps her thighs again—they must be red at this point.
Together, we review the two closest schools with enriched programs: The one that’s walking distance from my apartment, but full; and the other one that has space, but requires going on a subway and streetcar. We read through the descriptions of their enriched programs and confirm that’s what I want. We agree that I should visit them both.
Visiting schools? “This sounds scary,” I lament.
“Yes, it is scary. But, you can do it. GRIT requires ‘Going Right Into Trepidation’.”
“Trepidation?” I quickly look it up:
Trepidation. Noun: 1. A feeling of fear or agitation about something that may happen. 2. A trembling motion. Synonyms: fear, agitation, anxiety, trembling, jitteriness….
I pause, thinking it over. “So…GRIT starts out as a big rock and then Trepidation creates the trembling motion that wears it down into sand.”
“Exactly! We break down the fear through careful planning.”
…
The bell rings signalling my next class.
Mrs. Gurmel says hurriedly, “We still have over a week to finalize your plan. I’ll see you at our Monday appointment and we’ll review everything again then and adjust the plan as needed, okay?”
Based on the Asian zodiac, this new moon signals the end of a Metal Ox year in 2021 and the beginning of a Water Tiger year in 2022. In the 12-year cycle of the Asian zodiac, the tiger is the third animal of 12 (Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Pig). Each year’s animal is influenced by one of the five elements—wood, fire, earth, metal, and water—representing the relationship and interdependence between all things. (These five elements align closely with the seven Thrivival elements—aether, air, water, energy, metal, fire, earth.)
These zodiac symbols alone—the shift from Metal Ox to Water Tiger—intimate a significant change in energies. Like metal, 2021 felt cold and immutable—entrenched in lockdowns and unbendable restrictions. Enduring 2021 too often felt like embodying the ox, shouldering a yoke of heavy emotional burden, leaning against the weight of it to struggle forward, making little progress and choking on the dust of exhausted, infertile terrain—unforgiving work levied by world leaders who wielded their arguably undeserved powers like bulls in a china shop.
How will 2022, a Water Tiger year, feel in comparison?
In Asia, the Tiger is known as the king of beasts and a symbol of strength, courage, and the ability to triumph over evil. Tigers walk their wild terrain with sovereign independence.
Water flows along the path of least resistance, feeling its way around the largest obstacles and through the smallest openings. Water gracefully adapts to its environment—hot spring, frozen lake; crashing ocean, still pond; raging rapids, babbling brook. Bruce Lee’s words to “be like water”—formless and changeable—offer sound advice for 2022. Roll with the punches; ‘turn the other cheek’ and watch the fist sail through the air as the opponent who threw it teeters sideways, unbalanced. In 2022, we will find ways to quietly remain centred within our sovereignty. We will learn to ride the changing streams with formless grace.
How do we best begin a Water Tiger year?
With a list of New Year’s resolutions?
New Year’s resolutions often focus around not doing something—resisting the urge to act in a certain way—to stubbornly stop or cease some small act or habit, or list of them. They often require a rather bull-headed determination—much like our beast of burden, the ox. The very word ‘resolution’ sounds harsh and inflexible, like metal. To be resolute is to be unmoving, uncompromising, unwavering—like the resolute rock worn down to sand by the unceasing waves of the ocean. Perhaps resolution—the process of reducing or separating something into its components—is based on old, Metal Ox energy. Now, with the beginning of this new cycle, we embrace a new strategy, based on new energy—Water Tiger energy.
res·o·lu·tion
noun: resolution
a firm decision to do or not to do something.
the quality of being determined or resolute.
the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter.
the process of reducing or separating something into its components.
the smallest interval measurable by a scientific (especially optical) instrument; the resolving power.
the conversion of something abstract into another form.
Rather than reducing or restricting through additional rules and lockdowns, we focus on expanding and liberating; rather than separating and segregating groups, we choose to connect and strengthen bonds; rather than becoming distracted in measuring the smallest intervals, we see the big picture.
How do we navigate this change in perspective?
We at Thrivival invite you to join us in pledging PACTS—Powerful Acts of Consciousness, Truth, and Sovereignty—at the beginning of this new year and throughout 2022. Unlike resolutions, which focus on doing differently, PACTS focus on seeing and being differently.
PACTS are not about peaceful resistance but peaceful intention.
Sometimes the tiger silently seeks an alternate path to avoid the bear and the water gently flows in a new rivulet around the tumbled boulder. We envision new solutions that work around old problems.
This year, we embody the supple strength of the tiger and the graceful fluidity of water.
PACTS Powerful Acts of Consciousness, Truth, and Sovereignty
I pledge to:
Practice the Power of awareness…though ignorance may be bliss.
Act like a master…though I feel insignificant.
Consciously focus on the positive…despite seeing negativity all around me.
Courageously express my Truth…even when it differs from everyone else’s.
Confidently stand in my Sovereignty as the expansive spiritual being that I know I AM…even if I stand alone.
Commit by a solemn promise. (My own personal promise with my Higher Self.)
Give as security for the fulfillment of a contact. (A spiritual contract.)
Drink to the health of. (In the spirit of celebrating now.)
Promise to join. (With kindred spirits, known and unknown.)
Tips for Practicing PACTS
Find the zero point between breaths (seek and ye shall find).
Stay in neutrality (resist not evil).
Observe quietly (be the witness).
Rise above (be in this world, but not of it).
This website, and the community it intends to bring together, is itself the fulfillment of a PACT.
We humbly invite you to cross over the narrow bridge, through the mist, and enter through the gate to sit with us at the centre of the realm of Thrivival, in the warmth of a communal fire. Together, we gather to pledge enduring PACTS—Powerful Acts of Consciousness, Truth, and Sovereignty.
I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.
I first encountered these phrases together at the end of a fascinating book called The Source Field Investigations: The Hidden Science and Lost Civilisations Behind the 2012 Prophecies by David Wilcock. He ends the book with:
We create the Golden Age ourselves—beginning in our own lives—and the rewards are almost beyond imagination. By moving through the self-hatred and fear to reach that hard-earned place of acceptance and forgiveness—of both self and others—we heal the world: I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.
Interestingly, these words ended a book very focused on advanced, hidden science; yet, David Wilcock clearly appreciated the relationship between consciousness and technology—as did the lost civilizations he investigated. The four ending phrases puzzled me until I recalled an earlier chapter and returned to this section of it for clarification:
~ Chapter 5: Heal the World by Healing Yourself | page 95 | location 1596 The Source Field Investigations: The Hidden Science and Lost Civilisations Behind the 2012 Prophecies by David Wilcock
Dr. Hew Len, a Hawaiian psychiatrist, discovered a similar technique that could substantially increase health and happiness in the psychiatric ward he managed. It didn’t start out very well: “The ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients.” Dr. Len’s job allowed him to be completely isolated from the ward—he reviewed patiences’ case files to prescribe medication and/or treatment plans with the staff. Nonetheless, by simply holding each patient’s file in his hand and practicing the “Ho’oponopono” technique we are about to discover, he got results.
After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely…. Others who had to be heavily medicated were getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed…. Not only that…but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing up to work. Today, the ward is closed.
What exactly was Dr. Len doing while he reviewed each patient’s file? He simply took on their pains and problems as if they were his own, and worked on healing those issues within himself: “I just kept saying ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ over and over again.” Dr. Len was practicing his own variation of a Hawaiian spiritual practice called Ho’oponopono. Dr. Len recommends going inside, to wherever you feel hurt by a particular person or issue, and then saying each of these four statements with as much feeling as possible—thinking through the real reasons why you genuinely feel this way: “I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.” That’s all it takes. You heal the other person by healing yourself—and this apparently works because in the greater sense, you are both sharing the same Mind.
I forgot about Ho’oponopono until the 2020 pandemic-enforced isolation when it came to my attention again through self-empowerment author, Joe Vitale. During that time, as mentioned in my Finding Thrivival post, I signed up for more free or almost-free online courses than I could possibly complete, including spontaneously purchasing the introductory and advanced Ho’oponopono courses. The courses consisted of recordings of in-person Ho’oponopono courses that Joe Vitale facilitated and Dr. Len taught. Through these videos, Dr. Len became my quasi-personal Ho’oponopono guide and mentor. He taught his practice of the traditional Hawaiian Ho’oponopono teaching, in addition to many interesting practices to complement it.
The core Ho’oponopono practice requires understanding our true, multi-dimensional nature, ‘i am that I AM,’ which I explore in my I AM Series. My conscious mind, ‘i am’ is controlled and limited by all of ‘that and that and that’ data—an accumulation of memories held in both the conscious and, more importantly, in the subconscious mind; that data influences and forms my thoughts far more than I am consciously aware; my thoughts literally manifest my physical reality—everything that I see in the circumstances around me. Therefore, if I want to change my circumstances, I need to recognize that:
I own the data.
The data creates my physical reality.
I have the power to change, or to clear, that data.
How do I change or ‘clear’ the data? In Dr. Len’s terms, I ‘clean it’—like mental housekeeping. I simply repeat, while truly focusing on and feeling these statements: I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.
Through the pandemic, I’ve found this cleaning method key to remaining calm in the face of so many negative messages—when I’ve remembered to use it, of course, which is always the challenge! Sometimes we get so caught up in the effect, that we lose sight of the cause—we forget that our outer circumstances are a reflection of our inner thoughts. Remembering that we have power over the cause is key. Then, we simply ‘clean’ it. So, when Dr. Len was asked if he still watches the news, he responded, “I watch it all; I just clean it.”
Of course, this idea is by no means new. It’s stated in the Biblical Old Testament:
“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” ~ Proverbs 23:7
In 1903, British author, James Allen, published the book As a Man Thinketh, based on his understanding of this concept. He states:
“A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.”
In 1937, Napoleon Hill published the classic self-success book, Think and Grow Rich, based on it. In 2006, Rhonda Byrne published the book, The Secret, which repopularized it as ‘The Law of Attraction’ and Joe Vitale was featured in the movie spun from that book. All of these books were stops in my quest to understand the nature of reality; I explored them in various posts, including As a Woman Thinketh and Let Me Tell You a Secret. But, Dr. Len’s ho’oponopono practice helped me to internalize it with these simple phrases:
I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.
They helped me to take responsibility for the reality I have manifested while also releasing any guilt associated with not liking the result. My eldest asked me, “who are you talking to when you say it?” They resisted the idea that we need to ask God’s forgiveness. I pondered it and realized that it’s actually an internal dialogue—it’s self-forgiveness. I envision myself as a young child—small and thin—feeling vulnerable and misplaced. I repeat the words to this child—to myself—my inner child who still carries the wounds of disregard.
When I ‘clean,’ I forgive myself for the choices I wish I hadn’t made. I recognize that focusing on a divisive perspective has created a crisis of separation—a playing out of fear and trauma-based energies. I take personal responsibility for the unique and individualized timeline I have manifested. I forgive myself for creating a chaotic reality for I knew not what I did. Now, I know better and I ‘clean’ it. Now, I change focus. Instead, I choose visionary activism.
Ho’oponopono Meditation
When I incorporate Ho’oponopono into a meditation, I envision a ferris wheel ride that takes me around the spiral of a torus. I follow this fluid, 7-step sequence, with these words and visions as the ferris wheel takes me backward, up, and around in a counter-clockwise circle:
I love you Conscious awareness in the physical. I envision getting on the ferris wheel; it moves counter-clockwise, taking me backward, on a course I cannot see, and I rise up into the air.
I’m sorry Sub-Conscious awareness in the meta-physical. Acknowledgement: I forgive myself for the choices I wish I had not made. The ferris wheel pauses around the top of the spiral; my inner child joins me for the ride and I put my arm around them gently. Together, we look ahead as the ferris wheel follows the spiral down into the centre of the torus.
I LOVE YOU Re-integration with Divine Source. We arrive at the Zero Point—the Void—and pause to sit in complete calmness, stillness, neutrality. We breathe it in. Freedom lives here. Then, the ferris wheel continues down, around the spiral.
Please forgive me Release through spiritual alchemy: we experience complete transmutation of all trauma. We accept forgiveness for the choices we have not made. The ferris wheel continues around the spiral.
I love you Super-Conscious. Re-Integration: my inner child reintegrates with me. I begin entry back into physical, pregnant with possibilities. The ferris wheel continues.
Thank you Re-Birth: Gratitude and acceptance. I feel gratitude for the journey. I disembark from the ferris wheel a new person.
I love you Re-Awakening: Conscious awareness in the physical. I feel lighter and more joyful. I send love spiralling around the entire torus. The end of everything is the beginning of everything.
Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
Carl Jung
Swiss Psychiatrist,1875 - 1961
Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len April 1939 – January 15, 2022
January 1, 2015, around 3am, I awoke mid-dream to the realization of an idea forming. In the safe, dark confines of night, I hatched a righteous plan. I would step out of the writer’s closet in which I had been cowering, publicly declare myself a novelist for all to read, and commit to publishing segments of my novel, which I entitled Life By Fire, online daily as I wrote it. For the first time in my life, I took action without hesitation. I arose that morning and created the website. I wrote and posted my first entries. I perfected it all, sent out a launch announcement via Facebook and awaited the applause, while basking in a sense of accomplishment.
Then what happened? It got harder. And I got scared. I questioned the concept and the process. I failed to post a segment daily. Then, I failed to post a segment weekly. I felt resistance. I encountered roadblocks. I questioned the integrity of the story and my right to write it. I lost momentum and withdrew back into my closet to persevere alone.
The novel Life By Fire begins:
“Death by fire. I dream of dying in a burst of flames. Searing heat traveling from my feet, up my legs, swirling around me. I throw my head back to see a black sky scattered with stars, extinguished by a cloud of white smoke…. Hot, dry, release. My soul purified by fire—a quick, dramatic death, nothing left but ash. The antithesis of my life. By day, I barely tread water, barely keep afloat. Perpetually behind, perpetually overwhelmed, stuck in a whirlpool going round, round, and around. Life by drowning.”
Today, I no longer live a “life by drowning”—continuing to write equipped me with a very vital lifeboat. Since my rather dismal start with the novel, Life By Fire, I have completed a middle-grade novel called Genevieve’s Worlds and written and published a short story called Anni Annihilation. In 2017, I was awarded 1st prize in the Adult Division in the 2016 Dorothy Shoemaker Literary Awards Contest for excerpts from the Life By Fire novel. Slowly but surely—my spirit animal is a turtle.
Throughout the process, I continued to feel a keen desire to communicate, not only about the process of writing, but about the process of self-discovery and living on purpose. The Life By Fire Book website evolved into the LifeByFire.com blog. In 2017, I also felt inspired to create and teach two courses, Ignite Your Creativity and the Seven Universal Laws; content creation for these courses flowed effortlessly though I found marketing them to the right audience very difficult.
The course content inspired me to begin a non-fiction book called The Thrive Guide for the Hungry Spirit. I began the guide with:
I’m a lucky person. I live in the top 10% of the global population. I live in a safe, prosperous country and community. I’ve been blessed with excellent physical health, intellect, and opportunity. I have two university degrees. I own a car and share a home with my kind, caring husband and two beautiful, vibrantly healthy, intelligent children. I have never sustained a serious accident, injury, or illness. By all accounts, I have and continue to live a blessed, easy life. And yet…
I have struggled most of my life. I have felt fearful, limited, and downright stuck for most of my fifty years. From my perspective, every one of my small successes has followed an internal battle. And my big successes? I can’t name any.
But, I embarked on a mission to figure out why I felt that way and how to change it. And now, I am determined to truly learn, internalize, and practice my insights through sharing them with you and everyone else who desires them. I want us to feel happy. I want us to experience life as fun. I want us to enjoy success and prosperity as free-flowing, easy, and natural.
Together, I want us to awaken to our own power, envision our dreams, and realize them confidently. And I want you to do it now while you’re young and vital, and have all the time in the world—not after you turn 50, like me, and feel time slipping away faster each day.
So, here is our guide. Not just a survival guide—a Thrive Guide for living our happiest life—on purpose and to the fullest. I invite you to join me on this great adventure of discovery.
…
What authority have I to write such a guide? A PhD from a prestigious university? A channel to enlightened spiritual beings from beyond? A personal relationship with Oprah? No. I have the authority to write this guide because I wrote it.
And yet…and yet, as I wrote those words, I felt a tightness in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t believe it myself. Does someone who has lived such an easy life, one so free from trauma or hardship, really have the right to attempt to ‘guide’ others who have quite possibly endured significant turmoil, trauma, and tragedy? No. Like the Life By Fire novel, the non-fiction book stalled.
Strangely enough, on June 8, 2016, our family had endured significant trauma when my husband sustained a serious concussion while mountain biking. At the time, we continued in survival mode, assuming that his recovery would be fast and full. It was not. Over 5 years later, notwithstanding the advice from numerous allopathic and alternative doctors, he continues to suffer ceaselessly from post-concussion symptoms. They have continued to prevent him from enjoying many activities that were a significant part of his life and his family has felt the effects of those limitations along with him. Whether we realised it at the time or not, it has shaped us.
And then, in May 2019, as my eldest daughter’s grade 8 graduation approached, everything fell apart. A call brought us into her school for an emergency meeting in which we were told that she had confided to a teacher that she was having suicidal thoughts. How could we have been so oblivious? All focus turned to organizing an endless stream of resources—doctors, social workers, psychologists—to attempt to identify the source of her depression and anxiety, which appeared to have come out of nowhere (but actually hadn’t). A very difficult year of ‘coping mechanisms’ followed as we attempted to support our eldest to explore their gender identity, sexual orientation, and the source of their deep sadness. In that time, their pronouns changed from she/her to they/them and they chose a new first name. Our Fynn found themselves and we thought we had stumbled our way back to comfort and ‘normalcy.’
Forward to April 2020 and the infamous beginning of the coronavirus, when Fynn matter-of-factly informed me that a close family member who also lived close-by had sexually molested them for a number of years and that sexual abuse had morphed into emotional abuse. I felt the walls of emotional security collapse around me. Then, when we confronted the family member, we experienced the shock and horror of gaslighting to a degree we had never imagined possible—not only from the abuser but also from other close family members. And that’s when I felt the emotional foundation of my life completely collapse in on me.
Like Gandalf battling the balrog on the bridge of Khazad-Dûm, I stood between my abusive family members and my children, and decreed, “you shall not pass,” with an intensity I had never experienced before. I felt the iron chains of lifetimes of negative family karma severing forever. Then, as the rest of the world was forced into another lockdown, I gratefully contracted inward, retreating from everyone and everything—happily dropping so many commitments that now felt meaningless. I needed solitude.
Adventure books and movies tend not to focus on the devastating destruction faced in the aftermath of the epic battle, all of which takes significantly longer to clean up and rebuild. But, like most people do, my family has steadfastly worked to dig ourselves out from under the emotional rubble, clear it away, and slowly but surely rebuild on a stronger foundation—our own solid-granite foundation—freed from the shackles of unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships and codependencies.
The process has led me to dig deeply into my own repressed trauma, bring it to the surface, and endeavour to release it once and for all. It continues to rise to the surface of my awareness in waves, over and over, to be felt and dissolved. Again and again, I am reborn. And, the Life By Fire blog has also been reborn as Thrivival.
After a lifetime of intensely disliking my given name, it has even led me to choose to write under a different one—yet another departure from expectation. I no longer identify with the person I was five years ago. I have embarked on a new path as a new me. This is true freedom. And it has been hard-won. This is my epic journey to finding Thrivival—a metaphysical place of my own imagining where comfort and freedom reside. I humbly invite you to cross through the mist, over the narrow bridge, and enter through the gate to sit with me at the centre, in the warmth of a communal fire, in the realm of Thrivival. Freedom lives here.
In 2020, the infamous year of covid (which I refuse to capitalize), I felt a fundamental shift—a positive, energetic change in frequency. In actuality, I started to experience it before the onset of the pandemic—I seemed to experience everything just a little bit sooner than those around me. In fact, the week leading up to government-imposed isolation, I came down with a very uncomfortable flu that laid me out in bed for several days. Did I actually contract the acute illness and recover from it before I became acutely aware that I even could contract it and possibly not recover from it? Who knows.
I do know that I had, only a few weeks before, openly asked the universe for a reprieve—I asked and wished for a break, a time in which my family could simply live together, without all of the usual commitments, responsibilities, and stresses—some down time, not just for a week, but for long enough for us to truly rest and relax into life. I only wished it for my family personally; I could never have imagined how it would play out for humanity collectively. Be careful what you wish for.
Six months into this new pandemic-enforced isolation, I felt deep, fundamental shifts in reality. But, on the surface, my family grew bored—we sought leisurely entertainment like TV shows and movies, anything to bring a little excitement to an otherwise tedious stretch of time. At first, I indulged in a variety of distractions—re-watching Downton Abbey for the sixth time; binge-watching eco-home, tiny home, and off-grid homesteading videos at twice the normal speed; attempting unsuccessfully to introduce my kids to Lord of the Rings; following my favourite YouTube channellers like a new religion; and signing up for more free or almost-free online courses than I could possibly complete—everything from unified physics, to Ho’oponopono, to horse communication.
But, I felt increasingly antsy—nothing satisfied me anymore—the books I’d revelled in repeatedly fell flat; videos from my favourite YouTubers lacked substance; movies and TV shows I had enjoyed in the past and attempted to revive now seemed downright dumb, or worse—violent and angry, overwhelmingly victim-based and dystopian to the point that they turned my stomach. Why did I respond so differently to them now?
And then I realized, they no longer matched the frequency of my new energy. I had shifted; they had not. I needed something new. I felt that all of humanity needed something new—something to both reflect and inspire a new reality, a new perspective. The time for dystopian stories had passed. We needed a utopian story, a story to focus us optimistically on what could be—Visionary Activism. After all, consciousness always comes first—you have to imagine it before you can manifest it. I sat in silence, searching to articulate what I yearned for.
I yearned for starlight under an open sky; for wood fires in open hearths. I yearned for graph paper, compasses, and sharp pencils; I yearned for circles. I retreated into my own imagination, conjuring and combining images of everything I had been contemplating, from off-grid homes, to mythical creatures, to sacred geometry, astronomy, astrology, and way beyond. And the place I architected within the depths of my inner vision resonated more clearly, more harmonically, more fluidly than anything I experienced outwardly, to the point that retreating into it felt like a trance. In short, it felt like coming home.
Thrivival is a metaphysical place of my own imagining where comfort and freedom reside; it has become my ‘safe place,’ where I retreat inward to find calm and solace. Here, on Thrivival.ca, I’ve represented Thrivival with a seven-petaled geometric symbol of my own creation. I spent significant time designing and evolving this symbol (with the help of my dear, talented, sweet soul sister, Celeste Alles—thank you, Celeste!).
Thrivival Symbol Elements
Here’s an overview of the elements of the Thrivival symbol and what they represent to me:
Seven Circles: Based on the sacred geometric symbol of the Seed of Life, 7 overlapping circles form the symbol’s shape; these represent the Seven Universal Laws we explore in the Thrivival course.
Seven Colours: 7 colours of the rainbow, overlapping.
Seven-Pointed Star: The centre forms a 7-pointed star or heptagram. Known as the Faery Star or Elven Star, it has been used in times past to ward off evil. In Christianity, the heptagram traditionally symbolizes the seven days of creation.
Dandelion Seed Pod: Incorporating the Fibonacci Spiral, nature’s archetypal pattern.
Big Top of a Circus Tent: The ariel view of the top of a circus tent—a place for festivals, frivolity, fun, and reprieve from the stresses of everyday life.
Ferris Wheel: The side view of a ferris wheel—as envisioned in my Ho’oponopono practice.
Torus: A deeply symbolic geometric shape representing the universe, the torus is also fundamental to harnessing zero-point energy.
The Sacred Number Seven & Septimal Law, as illustrated in:
The 7 ‘petals’ of the Thrivival symbol also represent the 7 categories into which I have divided the Thrivival blog posts. The Five Platonic Solids formed the basis of these categories, but I have added two more to form seven. So, though I have taken some liberties with interpretation and connections, these categories do align with archetypal patterns and symbols associated with the esoteric teachings of Hermes in the Emerald Tablet, the Egyptian mystery schools, and beyond.
Here’s an overview of the elements of the seven categories of Thrivival thoughts and what they represent to me:
EARTH: Grounding Down Symbolized by the hexahedron, aligned with the root chakra, and governing the universal Law of Cause & Effect, Earth situates us within the physical body. Embodied through each individual breath, Earth beckons us to ground ourselves to terra firma, reconnecting with the natural world.
FIRE: Igniting Creativity Symbolized by the tetrahedron, aligned with the sacral chakra, and governing the universal Law of Gender and Gestation, Fire ignites our powers of creativity.Expressed through art and sexuality, Fire inspires us to engage our imaginations with passionate enthusiasm.
METAL: Rising Up Symbolized by the star tetrahedron, aligned with the solar plexus chakra, and governing the universal Law of Polarity, Metal incites courage.Perceived through the mind, Metal rallies us to rise up against tyranny and injustice, to break down old patterns that no longer serve us, and rebuild societal norms—spiritual alchemy—Iron sharpens iron.
ENERGY: Seeing Connections Symbolized by the torus or sphere, aligned with the heart chakra, and governing the universal Law of Rhythm, Energy rationalizes compassion on the Earthly plain.Perceived through the intellect, Energy is the empathy that encourages us to see connections—I am thatandthatandthat.
WATER: Navigating Life Symbolized by the icosahedron, aligned with the throat chakra, and governing the universal Law of Vibration, Water pluralizes memory within the 3rd dimensional construct of time.Perceived through the personality, Water is the mental gravity that anchors us within this lifetime—I amthat.
AIR: Ascending Dimensions Symbolized by the octahedron, aligned with the third eye chakra, and governing the universal Law of Correspondence, Air integrates consciousness with physical reality.Perceived through the ego, Air is the emotional levity that empowers us to ascend dimensions—i am that I AM.“The all are the One.”
AETHER: Enacting Consciousness Symbolized by the dodecahedron, aligned with the crown chakra, and governing the universal Law of the Perpetual Transmutation of Energy, Aether transcends physical reality into ‘7th Heaven.’ Perceived through the spirit as divine source, harmonious and whole, Aether arises from elemental reality in the eternal now—unity consciousness—I AM.“The One is the All.”
I’ve expressed my fascination with numbers and symbols through the main character in my middle-grade novel, Genevieve’s Worlds—in which 11-year-old Genevieve Harris loves math, geometry, and big words.
“Gennie,” my Granny calls from the little galley kitchen, “the ladies will be here to play cards at seven. You need to clear your art stuff off the table.”
“Okay,” I reply without taking my eyes off my notebook.
Today is my 8th month birthday. With my purple felt-tipped pen, I write out today’s date again:
08-21-2024 0+8+2+1+2+0+2+4=19 1+9=10 1+0=1
1 always represents new beginnings. And yet, it’s been same-old, same-old here all day today. Regardless, Happy 8-month birthday to me. Four more months ‘til I turn 12.
From the other side of the couch, I hear a knock at my Granny’s screen door and the squeak of it opening—somebody’s here early or I’ve lost track of time. I crawl quickly backward out of my tent, and climb up over the back of the couch to clean up my stuff.
“Hi Lenora,” I say, politely, if unenthusiastically. Of Granny’s four ‘cronies,’ as she calls them, I like Lenora the least. (The first time I heard it, I had to ‘Define: crony.’ Cro·ny. A close friend or companion, especially a long-standing one. From the Greek word khronios meaning ‘long-lasting’ and from khronos meaning ‘time.’)
Lenora unceremoniously slumps into one of the two bench seats around the built-in kitchen table and watches me as I gather up my scattered sheets of graph paper—each one covered with lines and circles, geometric shapes and patterns. I form them into a neat pile with my pencils, eraser, rulers, and compass on top. On the table, still sit six small three-dimensional shapes carved out of different shades of natural quartz rock.
“What are these?” asks Lenora, picking one up and running her fingers over its smooth edges.
“The Platonic Solids,” I reply flatly, automatically reciting the explanation I wrote in a school project in Grade Four and stood at the front of the class to present: “They’re special geometric shapes named after Plato. He was a Greek philosopher. Plato said they represented the earthly elements. Some people believe they are the building blocks of the universe. It’s called ‘sacred geometry’…”
“Really?” she interrupts with a sarcastic snort as she tosses my precious crystal back down onto the table with a thud.
Really mature, I think to myself. Unlike my smoothly polished Platonic solids, Lenora’s pretty rough around the edges. Ah, well, my Grade Four classmates didn’t ‘get’ them either.
I’ve also explored this metaphysical place I’ve called Thrivival in The Dragon Book—in which Hannah, a girl about the same age as Genevieve, runs away with her horse and finds her true home where she reunites with all her other aspects.
My park bench sits atop the ‘living roof’ of my humble home—humble by choice for I need little and spend even less-than-little time within it; I prefer to live outdoors with my companions. But, I enjoy spending time atop my home! From this rooftop vantage point, a storey-and-a-half up, I can see much of the community in which I live. The community that I founded—or, perhaps more accurately, the community that found and founded me.
Our little commune sits comfortably in the shape of a wagon wheel (or, from a three-dimensional perspective, you could say in the shape of a half-torus). I sit on the outer rim, looking inward across seven pie-shaped gardens, separated by ‘spokes’ in the form of gravel walkways. They all meet at a circular moat that surrounds a giant, ancient tree with seven broad limbs that curve out and up to form the shape of a shallow cup. Nestled within the chalice of the tree’s limbs, hovers an ornate globe, the shape of an interconnected double-torus, that rotates smoothly around itself. It looks like a sculpture; it acts like a perpetual motion machine; and it accomplishes much more than either of these. For, this sculpture is actually a free-energy apparatus that fuels our entire community—silently, cleanly, and completely independently—our own Tree of Life.
Our interconnected homes form the outer rim of the wagon-wheel circle. They have the beauty of a Frank Lloyd Wright design, the environmental ingenuity of the most eco-friendly earthship, and the comfort of every convenience one could desire in this newest of new millenniums—all encapsulated into the charm of a hobbit house, complete with plump round doors, domed ceilings, bevelled skylights, and pot-belly stoves. For, although each home looks inward toward the centre through expansive greenhouse windows, the outer edge of the circle has been covered over with earth to form the living roof on which I sit.
Over the last hundred years, the population of this community has grown and the architecture has expanded outward to match it. I don’t mean that we have constructed extension upon extension, addition upon addition—that would not create a pleasing plan. I mean that the circle, and the land itself, has expanded in size to not only accommodate but anticipate our needs, naturally and completely without mechanical intervention—as inconspicuously and fluidly as the earth spins on its axis around the sun. It is a master architecture, envisioned by a master architect, and executed equally masterfully—the epitome of ‘intelligent design’ (even if I do say so myself, having been the one to design it).
I hope that the symbols, thoughts, and ideas throughout this blog intrigue you as much as they fascinate me. Welcome to Thrivival—happy exploring!
We humbly invite you to cross over the narrow bridge, through the mist, and enter through the gate to sit with us at the centre of the realm of Thrivival, in the warmth of a communal fire. Together, we gather to pledge enduring PACTS—Powerful Acts of Consciousness, Truth, and Sovereignty. Freedom lives here.
PACTS Powerful Acts of Consciousness, Truth, and Sovereignty
I pledge to:
Practice the Power of awareness…though ignorance may be bliss.
Act like a master…though I feel insignificant.
Consciously focus on the positive…despite seeing negativity all around me.
Courageously express my Truth…even when it differs from everyone else’s.
Confidently stand in my Sovereignty as the expansive spiritual being that I know I AM…even if I stand alone.
~ Mary Magdalene, in live channel with Lori Ladd, Jul 13, 2021
You are here to be the shining example of shifting or levitating out of fear. Your sovereignty is the greatest gift that you experience when you are in the human journey. Sovereignty is your freedom. Sovereignty is your ticket into that golden age we speak of, which is right here, right now, as you continue to trust that there is so much more available than the storm clouds of fear or control.
Stay strong in your sovereignty; do not perpetuate a divide.
Your truth, your voice, your knowingness is the most powerful gift you have…. Your absolute truth; the truth of who you are; the truth of how you want to be, how you want to live.
The voice as your expression; to no longer be silenced; to no longer pretend; to no longer do what others ask you to do when it no longer resonates with you.
The human collective needs you to stand up first, to stand in your sovereignty first; to speak your truth first.
This morning, I noted the word ‘Epiphany’ on my calendar. Though I linked the word to my Christian upbringing, I didn’t immediately remember the connotation. So, as I so often do, I looked up the definition of the word to gain greater clarity:
e·piph·a·ny
noun: epiphany
The festival commemorating the Epiphany on January 6.
The manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi (Matthew 2:1–12).
A manifestation of a divine or supernatural being.
A moment of sudden revelation or insight.
Middle English: from Greek epiphainein ‘reveal’. The sense relating to the Christian festival is via Old French epiphanie and ecclesiastical Latin epiphania.
1. The Festival Commemorating the Epiphany
Ah yes, today commemorates the ‘nativity scene’ with Jesus in the manger, as told in the Biblical New Testament book of Matthew, which traditionally includes three Magi, or ‘wise men,’ bestowing upon the child Jesus three gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh—the scene we sang about in one of my favourite Christmas carols, “We Three Kings.”
Marking the end of the Christmas season (note to self: take down Christmas tree), and also called ‘Three Kings Day,’ “Epiphany, also known as Theophany in the east, is a Christian feast day that celebrates the revelation of God incarnate as Jesus Christ. In Western Christianity, the feast commemorates principally the visit of the Magi to the Christ Child, and thus Jesus Christ’s physical manifestation to the Gentiles.” (Wikipedia)
So, to appropriately celebrate the occasion, I adorned myself with my favourite gold necklace, added some frankincense essential oil to my diffuser, anointed myself with myrrh (okay, cinnamon; I didn’t have any myrrh), and planned to feast like royalty (by taking a package out of the freezer to thaw for dinner). I returned to my bright window seat with my laptop to contemplate epiphany and set the intention that this exultant pomp and ceremony would inspire me to exuberant revelation and insight!
7And then Herodus secretly called The Magi and learned from them at what time the star had appeared to them. 8And he sent them to Bethlehem and said to them, “Go inquire about The Boy very carefully and when you find him, come show me, so that I also may go worship him.” 9But when they heard from the King, they went, and behold, that star which they had seen in The East went before them, until it came and stood over where The Boy was. 10And when they saw the star, they rejoiced with a very great joy. 11And they entered the house and saw The Boy with Maryam his mother, and they fell and worshiped him and opened their treasures and offered him gifts: gold, myrrh, and frankincense. 12And it was seen by them in a dream that they should not return to Herodus, and they went to their country by another road.
2. The Manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles
I wondered, which came first, the religious term or the general meaning of the word ‘epiphany’? According to Merriam-Webster, the word ‘epiphany’ was first used in the 14th century, in the meaning defined in sense 1 above. So, apparently, the word originated as a religious term and then evolved into more general use.
For me, I suppose, the religious meaning of the word epiphany also came first. I grew up within the Christian religion and all its traditions; my parents’ religious views evolved through my childhood from very evangelical to more inclusive. As a teenager, I recognized that I was on a spiritual journey—but one that quickly led me to seek knowledge beyond the Christian Bible, which I found tedious to read and difficult to comprehend.
At age 18, while on exchange in Brazil, my host family introduced me to the Spiritist religion; based on my curiosity, they sought out for me an English version of The Spirits’ Book and The Gospel According to Spiritism by Allan Kardec, who had founded the religious movement in the 1800s. The information in the books were channeled to him by spirits through various clairvoyant mediums.
I gratefully accepted the books and immediately read them with interest. The books, along with my host families and Brazilian friends, introduced me to the presence and influence of spirits; channeling through a medium (with various demonstrations); the concept of reincarnation, including discussing past-life memories and regression; the concept of karma and spiritual progress. One of my closest friends communicated regularly with her sister, who had died in a car accident years before; this friend also regularly received and passed on messages from other deceased friends and family members. Interestingly, this information and ability did not feel like an epiphany to me. Though these beliefs departed radically from my Christian indoctrination, they felt familiar to me, like I already knew them but they had simply slipped my mind—the books simply reminded me—and that was the epiphany!
My spiritual journey led me to continue to explore many spiritual pathways. The autobiography of Paramahansa Yogananda, entitled Autobiography of a Yogi, introduced me to a yogic spiritual perspective focusing on meditation. Over the years, I read many New Age spiritual books by authors like Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer, and Deepak Chopra. And, somehow, I wandered into the realms of more esoteric teachings from the ancient Egyptian mystery schools, and even further back in time.
More and more, I focused on reading ‘channeled’ works—meaning that they were directly communicated by non-physical beings to a physical person. Most works were channeled directly and privately through an ‘inner voice’ that the person heard inside their head—such as Neale Donald Walsch experienced and detailed in his book Conversations with God. Or, the epic work, A Course in Miracles, which is purported to be the voice of Christ. The preface of ACIM details how it came about:
A Course in Miracles began with the sudden decision of two people to join in a common goal. Their names were Helen Schucman and William Thetford, Professors of Medical Psychology at Columbia University’s College of Physicians and Surgeons in New York City. It does not matter who they were, except that the story shows that with God all things are possible. They were anything but spiritual. Their relationship with each other was difficult and often strained, and they were concerned with personal and professional acceptance and status. In general, they had considerable investment in the values of the world. Their lives were hardly in accord with anything that the Course advocates. Helen, the one who received the material, describes herself:
Psychologist, educator, conservative in theory and atheistic in belief, I was working in a prestigious and highly academic setting. And then something happened that triggered a chain of events I could never have predicted. The head of my department unexpectedly announced that he was tired of the angry and aggressive feelings our attitudes reflected, and concluded that “there must be another way.” As if on cue, I agreed to help him find it. Apparently this Course is the other way.
Although their intention was serious, they had great difficulty in starting out on their joint venture. But they had given the Holy Spirit the “little willingness” that, as the Course itself was to emphasize again and again, is sufficient to enable Him to use any situation for His purposes and provide it with His power.
To continue Helen’s first-person account:
Three startling months preceded the actual writing, during which time Bill suggested that I write down the highly symbolic dreams and descriptions of the strange images that were coming to me. Although I had grown more accustomed to the unexpected by that time, I was still very surprised when I wrote, “This is a course in miracles.” That was my introduction to the Voice. It made no sound, but seemed to be giving me a kind of rapid, inner dictation which I took down in a shorthand notebook. The writing was never automatic. It could be interrupted at any time and later picked up again. It made me very uncomfortable, but it never seriously occurred to me to stop. It seemed to be a special assignment I had somehow, somewhere agreed to complete. It represented a truly collaborative venture between Bill and myself, and much of its significance, I am sure, lies in that. I would take down what the Voice “said” and read it to him the next day, and he typed it from my dictation. I expect he had his special assignment, too. Without his encouragement and support I would never have been able to fulfill mine. The whole process took about seven years. The Text came first, then the Workbook for Students, and finally the Manual for Teachers. Only a few minor changes have been made. Chapter titles and subheadings have been inserted in the Text, and some of the more personal references that occurred at the beginning have been omitted. Otherwise the material is substantially unchanged.
I also enjoyed reading about past-life experiences gleaned through past-life regression, with such experts as Dolores Cannon. As noted on her website, her career “as a hypnotherapist specializing in past life regression spanned almost 50 years and had taken her on an incredible journey along countless fascinating destinations.” Dolores’ Convoluted Universe series is sheer mind candy! Some of her books, like Jesus and the Essenes, chronicle the experiences of people who lived close to Jesus.
3. A Manifestation of a Divine or Supernatural Being
Many times, I re-read Glenda Green’s books, Love Without End: Jesus Speaks and The Keys of Jeshua, which transcribed conversations she had with Jeshua (Jesus—’Jeshua’ was his true Aramaic name, pronounced ‘Yeshua’) when he embodied himself so she could paint his portrait—an experience that was certainly an epiphany for Glenda in the sense of an actual physical ‘manifestation of a divine or supernatural being.’ Yes, Glenda states that Jeshua actually appeared to her in physical form and he explained to her how he did it! Jeshua also explained and clarified many passages from the Bible that I had previously found incomprehensible—correcting lost translation and bringing them to light in a revelatory way that brought with them many epiphanies for me. (For example, see the post, Blessings and Happiness, The Eight Beatitudes.)
These kinds of ‘visitations’ were not novel to Glenda—I read a number of books that related similar experiences, including Disappearance of the Universe by Gary Renard. The insights within them led me back around to my Christian roots with a new appreciation for the true foundational teachings of Christ.
The Magi experienced an epiphany, in the sense of definition 3, when “it was seen by them in a dream that they should not return to Herodus, and they went to their country by another road.” And, apparently, Jesus’ father, Joseph, also experienced an epiphany (or several):
13And as they went, The Angel of THE LORD JEHOVAH appeared in a dream to Yoseph, and said to him, “Arise, take The Boy and his mother, and flee to Egypt and stay there, until I speak to you, for Herodus is going to seek The Boy to destroy him.”
In the Bible, both Old Testament and New Testament, we read many references to these kinds of epiphanies—visits by divine or supernatural beings, sometimes in dreams and sometimes in awakened states. Yet, in my experience anyway, today’s Christian church appears to have lost sight of the ability to directly access guidance from divine or supernatural beings. In my upbringing, the focus lay upon asking—by praying to God—rather than on receiving direct guidance from angels or other supernatural beings, as Mary and Joseph did.
Yet, ‘channeled’ messages from non-physical, ‘higher beings’ have guided my spiritual journey from a young age, as noted above. Further, since the pivotal year 2012 (in astrological terms, the dawning of the Age of Aquarius and, based on Mayan prophecies, the beginning of a new 25,920-year cycle—the Precession of the Zodiac), the channels of communication appear to have opened significantly more and more people have begun to share messages from higher beings.
The entities communicating these messages include:
Beings who incarnated on Earth in the past.
Beings who incarnated on Earth in the future and have come back to assist us, including future aspects of the person channeling them.
Beings who have never incarnated on Earth and sometimes who have never incarnated into any physical body.
Extraterrestrial beings who have incarnated on other planets in other star systems.
Beings we have considered only as myth, like faeries or elementals.
Extra-dimensional beings who reside either physically or non-physically in other dimensions (the dense physical reality we experience in here space-time exists in the 3rd dimension).
Individual souls or collective consciousnesses.
Enlightened Masters who have incarnated many times as humans but have ‘graduated’ from physical existence.
Etc.
You can find people channeling non-physical beings on many YouTube channels—and these channels have tens- to sometimes hundreds-of thousands of subscribers, so they have certainly become more mainstream.
My current favourite channeled beings include:
Micheila Sheldan channels many beings, including Mary Magdalene, etc. on Micheila Sheldan and AAE tv.
Lorie Ladd channels various beings, including the Galactic Federation of Light, etc. on Lorie Ladd.
Adamus Saint-Germain, channeled by Geoffrey Hoppe on TheCrimsonCircle.
Listening to higher beings through channeled works have brought me too many insights or epiphanies, in the sense of definition 4, than I could possibly relate here (though I relate many of them in other posts on this site). That said, access to the information these beings provide has brought me several overriding revelations:
Clarification & Deeper Insight
Although I believe that the Bible contains deep wisdom, I always distrusted the translations and deviations from the original works. Wading through the inaccuracies to uncover the true messages felt futile. If only there were a way to access the original information and to seek clarification, when needed…. What many Christians wouldn’t do to speak directly with Jesus—to sit at his feet, like a disciple! Channeling an ascended Master like Jeshua or Mary Magdalene offers that direct connection.
Broader Connections
To my surprise, these beings, including Jeshua, do not limit their information to spiritual topics; they also speak on science and technology, as well as topics like astronomy, astrology, mathematics, and sacred geometry. In a complete departure from the traditional Christian view of Jesus as simple and uneducated—the son of a poor, lowly carpenter and a meek, ignorant girl—Jeshua has been revealed as a well-traveled (with his Uncle Joseph of Arimathea, who was a respected and widely known ship builder and trader), widely educated (in the Egyptian mystery school, Indian yogic tradition, and with the British druids), and highly knowledgeable enlightened Master with a full understanding of universal and physical laws.
References to these broader topics led me to study the connection between ancient myths and symbols and leading-edge science like quantum physics. I’ve intensely enjoyed learning from visionary physicists like Nassim Haramein, who contends that God consciousness plays a key role in understanding the universe and his quest for a unified field theory for everything—a theory that will not only further our understanding of reality but also lead to revolutionary practical discoveries like free, zero-point energy and anti-gravity machines, thereby helping us to make the leap from science fiction to science reality.
Sci-fi movies typically depict ‘first contact’ in epically physical proportions, like giant spaceships bringing alien legions; conversely, the extraterrestrial beings I’ve listened to point out the gentle beauty of their non-confrontational form of non-physical ‘first contact’—through channeled messages.
Personal Empowerment
In addition to the insights available through information passed on by other people channeling these beings, the beings themselves state emphatically that anyone can speak with them directly—anyone can channel. All it takes is the ‘little willingness’ to sit in silence for long enough to hear them. Some people hear a clear voice inside their head; others practice ‘automatic writing’ in which the being writes through them; others receive ‘downloads’ of information; others allow a being to speak through their voice to an audience. Whatever form or process works best for us, we are all capable of opening these channels of communication—with our higher selves, angels, and guides, in addition to making contact with these many other enlightened beings. And, they have stated that they eagerly await our decision to initiate the conversation—our own ‘first contact.’ That realization is truly the epiphany.
The I AM Seriesexplores our true identity as spiritual beings. I believe…
I AM an eternal, multi-dimensional, spiritual being who has chosen to fragment into this temporary aspect to physically experience ascending in consciousness.
In my last I AM Series post, I Am the AND…, I explored how you are and i am the ‘and’—we are that and that and that in the mysterious Biblical phrase:
i am that I AM:
i am: my separated self—ego and personality—in this fragmented, temporary aspect of my whole, unified self.
that:my true multi-dimensional nature—many aspects, simultaneously experiencing reality from different perspectives, in many dimensions and timelines. I am that and that and that.
I AM:Unity consciousness—Source, God—in the infinite, eternal NOW….
King James 2000: Exodus 3:13-14
13 And Moses said unto God, Behold, when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of your fathers has sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his name? What shall I say unto them?
14 And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shall you say unto the children of Israel, I AM has sent me unto you.
We ended that post with what could be considered a rather startling revelation:
Who am I?
I am that and that and that….
Here is the big statement that requires some courage to say aloud—here is the grand finale…. Who am I really?
I AM GOD choosing to have an experience. Actually, I am God choosing to have every experience. I am God choosing to have every experience from every possible perspective. We are fragments of the whole—ALL of them connected—One Source, enacting consciousness.
And, on that grande note, in this final post in the seven-part series, we arrive at the concluding statement in the phrase: I AM….
The One is the All
Our journey to our I AM essence leads us to ascend into the ethereal realms, based on our expanding realization that we are all God enacting consciousness—“The One is the All.” Perceived by the soul as divine Source, harmonious and whole, aether transcends physical reality to arrive in the eternal now—unity consciousness—I AM.
ae·ther
noun: aether
According to ancient and medieval science, aether, also known as the fifth element or quintessence, is the material that fills the region of the universe beyond the terrestrial sphere.
Plato designated the dodecahedron to symbolize aether in what have become known as the ‘Platonic Solids.’
e·the·re·al
adjective: ethereal
extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world.
(Note that the word ‘ethereal’ contains the phrase ‘the real.’)
As Bashar states in his four laws of existence:
You exist.
The one is the One; the all are the One.
What you put out is what you get back.
Change is the only constant, except for the first three laws.
This ascension into the ethereal realms is the journey to enlightenment—the journey through the dense shadow of lower-dimensional realities to the light and lightness of being. It is to shed light on, or to en-lighten—to make lighter or to unweight—our karmic baggage, traumas, and fears by reintegrating all of the aspects of ourselves, who each experienced separation through them, into the divine whole. We integrate all of our ‘i am’ aspects—that and that and that—into our ‘I AM’ wholeness, thereby dissolving or ‘alchemizing’ the density associated with them. In this great paradox, we simultaneously release and accept, disintegrate and reintegrate—in the divine whole, all paradoxes are reconciled. This process is true self-acceptance.
* From the book, Act of Consciousness: To Be or Not To Be…Enlightened ~ Adamus Saint-Germain, as channeled by Geoffrey Hoppe
Rather than suddenly knowing or having everything, enlightenment is integration. You integrate all of your aspects, as well as your soul being and human being, into the I Am. The integration comes when you have compassionate acceptance of yourself. Integration occurs when you love yourself, without exception or reservation. With this love and acceptance, all the parts, pieces, aspects and ghosts of yourself find their way back home for integration. You feel fulfilled rather than fragmented. Instead of feeling like pieces of a puzzle, you feel whole. Enlightenment is freedom.
Enlightenment is the natural evolution for every souled being.
Consciousness is Elemental Reality
The I AM, found in the statement ‘I exist’—eternally, without beginning or end—is indeed singular, elemental reality in every sense of the word:
el·e·men·tal
adjective: elemental
primary or basic. “elemental features from which all other structures are compounded”. synonyms: basic, primary, principal, fundamental, essential, elementary, radical, root, underlying, rudimentary, primitive, primordial
related to or embodying the powers of nature.
noun: elemental
a supernatural entity or force thought to be physically manifested by occult means.
Within the word ‘elemental,’ we find the word ‘mental,’ relating to consciousness, which always comes first. After all, mustn’t we always become ‘aware’ of something before we can ‘do’ something about it? And mustn’t we always imagine an idea first, and architect it within our minds eye before we can build it in the physical? Why would the universe be any different? The ancient mystery schools, led by Hermes, taught The Law of Mentalism: The ALL is MIND—the universe is a mental construct.
* From the book, The Kybalion: A Study of The Hermetic Philosophy of Ancient Egypt and Greece ~ Three Initiates
THE ALL = substantial reality, the underlying cause of everything.
SPIRIT = unknowable and indefinable, universal, infinite, Living Mind.
All of the phenomenal world or universe is a Mental Creation of THE ALL, subject to the Laws of the Universe.
The universe is a mental construct.
For anything to exist, it must be formed as a thought first, a manifestation second.
Consciousness is Open-Ended
In a recent talk channeled by Geoffrey Hoppe, enlightened master, Adamus Saint-Germain defined consciousness versus thought. (Having incarnated as both William Shakespeare and Mark Twain, Adamus still revels in playing with language and punctuation!)
Always ends with a period followed by an ellipsis….
Undefined, open-ended….
i am that I AM…. (now go into the experience)
I exist…. (it is a consciousness, an awareness….)
It is…. (experience the feeling of it)
To be continued, to be experienced….
Who you really are….
“I love the taste of my meal….” (awareness, consciousness)
Thoughts.
Always ends with only a period.
Defined, structured, temporary, often judgemental.
“I am 50 years old.”
“It is nice out today.”
The ways of playing it out.
The mind is obedient—it forms a reality and stays within an identity. Thoughts are what build identities.
“This salad is so fresh.” (judgement, thought)
That’s how your soul is—it’s just there. It’s the I Am, the core consciousness, always there. It doesn’t differentiate between a good day or a bad day. It doesn’t even know it’s a day. it just is. Always shining.
Adamus Saint-Germain
Act of Consciousness: To Be or Not To Be…Enlightened
The Zero Point
Consciousness is elemental; thoughts are secondary. Thoughts manifest energy vibrating on different frequencies; physical reality is energy in motion. (Or, as Albert Einstein put it, E = mc2. Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared. Considering that the speed of light squared equals a very large number, it means that a tiny mass can equal a very large quantity of energy.)
Today, leading-edge physicists endeavour to express elemental reality in mathematical terms, as part of their quest for ‘the theory of everything.’ In his documentary, Black Whole, physicist Nassim Haramein discusses his ongoing work to discover a ‘unified field theory.’ “Central to the unified field theory of Nassim Haramein is the idea that all objects on all scales are centered by stillness: a singularity at the center of what he terms a ‘Black Whole’.” (Black holes are astonishingly heavy, meaning that they also contain an extraordinary amount of energy.) Physicists also refer to this point—this singularity at the centre—as the ‘zero point,’ from which we may someday harness zero-point energy.
Likewise, we could say that Spirit vibrates at such an infinite rate of intensity and rapidity that it is practically at rest—the stillness at the centre, within the eternal now—like the hub within the centre of a rapidly spinning wheel appears to be motionless. And, so, we can express elemental reality as the dot within the circle: “Yo soy el punto”—“I am the point.”
Above and beyond all the personal realities you may create or believe in, there is one consistent basis for reality, and that is the very essence and presence of God manifested through all existence…. The salient characteristic of reality is that its integrated consistency permits verification from every perceptual approach.
We need not study quantum physics to rise into the ethereal realms to arrive at elemental reality. At any time, we may return our awareness to this zero point by stilling the body, quieting the mind, and focusing on the breath. In the space between breaths, we arrive back home to the eternal now, where we know, fully and completely, that the One is the ALL and our true nature.
I find myself lying on my back on the damp grass, my body still pulsing with heat. I am spent. My breathing eases; I lay in languid ease, my eyelids slowly dropping and then lifting open again to behold the heavens. A meteor radiates across the constellation Perseus. In my mind’s eye, I follow the path of its comet through the solar system and back. I watch the star, Sirius, appear and I remember the feel of its warmth on my skin when I lived in its binary solar system.
As dawn approaches, the waning crescent moon dances with the dazzling crescent of the planet Venus—two brilliant and beautiful celestial bodies, shining brightest in the predawn sky. The moon, the ambassador of primal emotions and earthly cycles; Venus, the planet of harmony, beauty, refinement, and affection, evoking and reflecting the desire to unite. I know all the celestial bodies; I love them all, intimately—as intimately as I now know and love all the incarnations of all the aspects of me now alchemized into precious crystal. I feel the pulse of Gaia against my back as we slowly spin together through the solar system.
The mist of the morning dawn surrounds me and I breathe it all in deeply. Then, ever so faintly, I hear the lullaby of the Great Mother, softly, from behind the final veil. My body rises up off the grass, through the cloud of cool vapour, refreshing my exposed skin with minuscule water droplets. With a swift intake of breath, I am lifted upon the wings of Isis—the Great Strength in softness—to greet she who is part of me, my lineage, my Star Mother.
The Divine Feminine surrounds me. Mother Mary draws me to her chest—her bosom, the template of infinite love. Grandmother Anna gently lifts my feet into her warm lap—her thighs, the template of infinite presence. Mary Magdalene adorns my heart with a garland of pink roses—her hands, the template of infinite compassion. Master Yeshua leans in and gently kisses my head and then rests his forehead against mine, anointing it with the fragrant oil that anointed him—his crown, the template of infinite wisdom. I am cradled in their arms, rocked by the gentle breeze, warmed by their united love.
And in their divine warmth, I am completely cured of all ills; I am made anew. That is what love does—that is what higher consciousness is like—it cures itself. The dead, dull skin of old energy sloughs away to reveal the shining, gleaming, glorious realization of you made in the image of your Creator. Beautiful. Radiant. Magnificent.
I feel the ground gently meet my back as Gaia embraces me once again. The last veil flutters down to earth, enveloping me in ethereal silk as I curl onto my side. My eyes become heavier. Dragon appears beside me and coils their gleaming white form around me. The weight of their golden wing covers me. And I slip into the void of sleep.
Who are you?
You are that and that and that….
Here is the big statement that requires some courage to say aloud—here is the grand finale…. Who are you really?
YOU ARE GOD choosing to have an experience.
Actually, YOU ARE GOD choosing to have every experience.
YOU ARE GOD choosing to have every experience from every possible perspective.
We are fragments of the One whole—ALL of them connected—One Source, enacting consciousness.
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, There is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, The world is too full, to talk about. ~ Rumi
For six months in 2020, my family boarded our quarter-horse gelding, Phoenix, on a private property down the street from us. To keep him company, we borrowed a Canadian breed gelding named Titan from a nearby ranch. In contrast to Phoenix’s large, sometimes clumsy and very definitively earthly ‘horsiness,’ Titan looked more like a mythical creature, with velvet, mottled ebony sides and long, flowing mane, tail, and hoof feathers. Whereas Phoenix trotted, cantered, and galloped, Titan pranced, danced, and frolicked. In fact, he looked so little like a ‘Titan’ and so much like a mythical creature, that we called him ‘Dragon’ and surmised that he was actually a dragon attempting unsuccessfully to disguise himself as a horse. And, as we cared for Phoenix and ‘Dragon’ daily in the beauty of their expansive, lush, green paddock overlooking the Grand River, the wheels of my imagination turned and out began to flow, almost as gracefully as Dragon moved, what I continue to refer to as simply ‘the dragon book.’
Interestingly, back in June, 2015, I reconnected with a former business colleague from my corporate days; she had also left the high-tech industry—to pursue a career as an energy healer and psychic. I booked an appointment with her; in it, she mentioned seeing beautiful books I had written with dragons in them. At the time, I attempted to make her prediction true by brainstorming ideas for children’s’ books with dragons in them, but I didn’t feel inspired enough to actually write any. Over five years later, and many thousand words into The Dragon Book, it suddenly dawned on me that perhaps, just perhaps, she was referring to this book.
For me, writing The Dragon Book is very much a form of visionary activism. I am envisioning the world I desire—and it feels beautiful, liberating, and expansive. It resonates with the frequency on which I desire to live; it feels like the new earth calling me. And so, I don’t write it because I believe there’s ‘a market for it,’ nor because I want to (finally) have finished writing a novel (although, obviously, both of these would be nice), I write it because, as I communicated in the Forward, “it resonates more clearly, more harmonically, more fluidly than anything I’ve experienced outwardly, to the point that retreating into it feels like a trance. In short, it feels like coming home.”
Things are worth doing even if you can’t measure any of the results.
Kyle Cease
Revealing Both Sides of the Veil
I share excerpts from The Dragon Book here and there on this blog; I hope that you enjoy reading them as much as I have enjoyed imagining them.
I would not want to live in a world without dragons, as I would not want to live in a a world without magic, for that is a world without mystery, and that is a world without faith.
The I AM Seriesexplores our true identity as spiritual beings. I believe…
I AM an eternal, multi-dimensional, spiritual being who has chosen to fragment into this temporary aspect to physically experience ascending in consciousness.
At the beginning of their Grade 9 school year, my eldest, Fynn—who identifies as non-binary—texted me the following from their new class:
“My teacher keeps calling us ‘Ladies and Gentlemen.’ I guess I am the ‘and.’”
I laughed and grimaced simultaneously—their teacher clearly needed a lesson in inclusive language. But, the statement, ‘I am the and,’ also struck me from another perspective—a more multi-dimensional one.
In my last I AM Series post, I explored how you are and i am that I AM:
i am that I AM:
i am: my separated self—ego and personality—in this fragmented, temporary aspect of my whole, unified self.
that:my true multi-dimensional nature—many aspects, simultaneously experiencing reality from different perspectives, in many dimensions and timelines. I am that and that and that.
I AM:Unity consciousness—Source, God—in the infinite, eternal NOW….
The Biblical I AM THAT I AM
From King James 2000: Exodus 3:13-14
13. And Moses said unto God, Behold, when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of your fathers has sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his name? What shall I say unto them?
14. And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shall you say unto the children of Israel, I AM has sent me unto you.
I considered the ‘and’ in the statement, ‘I am that and that and that‘. Imagine for a moment the possibilities in this statement—the ‘scope for imagination,’ as Anne of Green Gables would say. We are all on an eternal journey, to explore an infinity of possibilities—to have every experience that ever happened, is happening, and will happen, or never happened, is not happening, and never will happen. All at once. Countless timelines, in many lifetimes, in many dimensions, played out in an endless number of multiverses—every experience, from every possible perspective—all happening in the now.
* From the book: SUMMUM: Sealed Except to the Open Mind ~ Summum Bonum Amen Ra
Automatically, with no beginning and no end, do these Grand Opposites of NOTHING and POSSIBILITY come in and out of bond infinite times in a finite moment—therefore creating as series of infinite EVENTS. These infinite events held within the finite moment of singularity, manifest as infinite conceptualized energy that is then externalized through phenomenal, inconceivable projections, limitless in number. Among these countless projections, one produced our universe through an extreme rapid expansion, what has been called the BIG BANG—an EVENT. In essence, there are infinite big bangs creating infinite universes whose origin is an eternal, finite moment of infinite events, all produced by NOTHING and POSSIBILITY.…
Sound exciting? Or far-fetched? Not according to quantum physics; in the words of Stephen Hawking:
“There might be one history in which the moon is made of Roquefort cheese. But we have observed that the moon is not made of cheese, which is bad news for mice. Hence histories in which the moon is made of cheese do not contribute to the present state of our universe, though they might contribute to others. That might sound like science fiction, but it isn’t.” ~ Stephen Hawking, The Grand Design, A Brief History of Time
The ‘you’ reading this post—this conscious soul fragment, in this temporary body, in this singular timeline, vibrating in this specific frequency—observes your reality from one perspective. And, at the same time, you have other aspects of yourself vibrating energetically in other frequencies, experiencing other realities, in other incarnations, bodies, timelines, and dimensions. And, you have a higher self, and an oversoul, and extra-dimensional guides who are your future self returning to assist you, and….
* From the book: SUMMUM: Sealed Except to the Open Mind ~ Summum Bonum Amen Ra
The Grand Principle of Creation embodies your SUBJECTIVE OBSERVATION of Creation Itself, in which the process of observation between NOTHING and POSSIBILITY produces the EVENT of Creation.
In quantum physics, this ‘subjective observation’ is called the Observer Effect.
“The observer effect is the fact that observing a situation or phenomenon necessarily changes it. Observer effects are especially prominent in physics where observation and uncertainty are fundamental aspects of modern quantum mechanics.” ~ The Observer Effect, IEEE Xplore
Here’s my favourite video explaining the Observer Effect in quantum physics:
Consider the classic philosophical question, “If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?” Based on Newtonian mechanics, we would answer ‘yes.’ But, based on quantum physics, we would answer ‘no’—in fact, we could question whether or not the tree actually exists at all without an observer. Is the tree just waves of potential until an observer manifests it into particles of physical reality?
Have you ever asked, “what would have happened if I had made a different choice?” That question alone contains the energy to manifest an alternate timeline in which you have the opportunity to explore the answer. In the same talk I referred to in my last post, Matt Kahn refers to ‘meta-reincarnation,’ when we ask, “What did my last life look like?—Like this one, but with shittier choices.”
With each differing choice, each aspect of ourselves alters just a little—mentally, emotionally, and even physically—until they only resemble us a little, perhaps like our family members. Eventually, the variations increase so much, and those other aspects change so much, based on so many different choices, that they become completely unrecognizable as us—like strangers. These are the strangers whom we walk past on the street, or see in the news—the ones we really cannot relate to at all, from whom we believe we are completely separate, and with whom we think we have absolutely nothing in common. Except we do. We are them and they are us.
And here is another interesting concept to consider—if it all only appears to happen in time, but actually all happens in the eternal now, then changing your mind about it, or pondering a different choice now, can not only positively alter the present, and the course of the future, it can also alter the past. (I explore this possibility in my short story, Anni Annihilation.)
It is all possible and it is all happening—we’re just not consciously aware of it presently. Or are we?
Perhaps it was; perhaps it wasn’t. It matters not. It is the purpose that matters.
“To make me suffer?”
Never to make you suffer. To remove your attachment to suffering. You came not to suffer but to meet humanity—to meet yourself—with a new consciousness. But, first, one must release the trauma one carries. The trauma of years; of lifetimes; of eons. Embedded within your being—within your subconscious; your lineage, your ancestry; within your genes, your very cells.
In the past, humanity met that mission with resistance, burdened with the baggage of thousands, even millions, of years of density. You returned to the body in this incarnation, determined to release the resistance and move forward—to show the way for the rest of humanity—to lead by example. The soul becomes enlightened; the human simply releases the impediments to allowing the opening to awareness.
“Who am I? Am I still human? I don’t remember. Or, I remember too much. Were they all real? Did they all happen? Did I do all those things or only dream them? There were too many; I’ve lost myself in them.”
You lost yourself to remember your Self. You are all of them and none of them. In the past, they all happened. And now, none of them happened.
“But, the things I dreamt…the things I did…. I still remember them, like nightmares. I feel them. They haunt me; they were bad…horrible…humiliating.”
Everything exists on a circular scale. Humiliation is simply heroism becoming. We assist you to move along that scale.
“What scale?”
Judgement based on polarity—on the belief in ‘good’ and ‘evil.’ On the belief in separation that only exists in the third dimension. You are on a journey through the fourth dimension, on your way to the fifth dimension. You cannot rise up to that degree with all that heavy karmic baggage weighing you down. It’s too dense to come with you. Too heavy. It all has to disintegrate. A process that you have already begun.
“Begun?!”
Yes, breaking down always comes first—we must dissolve and reabsorb the old before we may give rise to the new.
“How do I do that? How do I finish it?”
By reconnecting, re-membering—reintegrating all the fragments of your reality. By re-embodying all your aspects. Recognizing, experiencing, feeling them fully. They deserve your recognition, your true understanding. You experienced what you deemed ‘bad’ but that only signifies one side of polarity. You must acknowledge both sides to cancel them out.
“But, I don’t know how.”
The dragon will help you for as long as you require help.
“Aren’t you the dragon? Whose voice is this?”
Hah, no, dragons do not philosophize, my dear one, they are far too pragmatic for that. We help you to rationalize it all mentally; we give you a sounding board. Dragons alchemize density.
“What does that mean?”
The breaking down. They help you to release what no longer serves you—trauma, guilt, shame, anger—any and all emotional baggage that you carry from experiences that have hurt or angered you. They take you into the shadow to purge the toxins that have made you sick. To purge anything that you have judged as ‘bad’ rather than ‘good.’ The dragon has a job to do and they will do it unflinchingly.
“How?”
They burn them. There is a reason they breathe fire. Heat alchemizes density. Your fever started the process.
“It was awful. Why does it have to be so awful? Does it have to hurt so much?”
Hah, well, that is up to you. You have free will up to a point. Then, the baggage has to go—that is where free will ends. Ascension is as natural for the spirit as growing up is for the physical body; these are the growing pains, so to speak—puberty sucks. But, you can choose how to do it. You can agonize your way through it slowly—sickness, torture, slow and excruciatingly painful deaths all work very well for that.
“Why would anyone choose those?”
Oh, my dear, most ascended masters chose the slow, agonizing approach; they believed they must suffer through the process. That’s how the concept of purgatory began. And, there’s nothing like a good burning at the stake to satisfy the ego’s need for martyrdom. Humans so love a good tragedy in the third dimension. And it makes for such an entertaining story after the fact. You know, ‘All the world’s a stage…yada yada.’ You can exit stage left with a bang, a scream, a moan, or a sigh—it’s your production.
“So, I can choose a less painful path?”
Oh yes, you can make it a romance, if you like. You can ask the dragon to light a fire for you and then you can toss each trauma onto it like a log and waltz gracefully around it as it burns—though that much tossing and waltzing can become dizzyingly exhausting.
“Or…?”
Or you can make it an epic drama—’to be or not to be’ the log and throw yourself onto the fire, feeling the searing heat as the fire burns through you. And then you rise like a Phoenix from the ashes. That approach is faster, and much grander a finale.
“It sounds terribly painful.”
Ah, well, it’s just heat.
“How do you know so much about this if you’re not the dragon? Who are you?”
We know about it because we’ve done it. It’s a done deal, my dear.
“But, who are you?”
We are you; your Higher Self. Your future self. You asked for help. We responded.
“So, are you only in my head?”
We are inside your head and outside your head. We are no place and all places that every iteration of you has ever been, are now, or ever will be. Hannah was a fractal of us. You are a larger piece. We are the whole.
“Do you have a name?”
I am that I AM.
“‘Iam.’ Okay.”
No. Well, okay, for now, ‘Iam’ will do.
Who am I?
I am that and that and that….
Here is the big statement that requires some courage to say aloud—here is the grand finale…. Who am I really?
I AM GOD choosing to have an experience. Actually, I am God choosing to have every experience. I am God choosing to have every experience from every possible perspective. We are fragments of the whole—ALL of them connected—One Source, enacting consciousness.
…perhaps you are not here to change all of the things your soul is observing that are going wrong, but you are here to reclaim the parts of you that have been forgotten.
We’re all an experience in progress, as is my definition of who I AM. Since the last post in my I AM Series, my definition has evolved:
From…
I AM an eternal spiritual being who has chosen to have this temporary physical experience for the purpose of growing in faith, awareness, and the ability to love unconditionally.
To…
I AM an eternal, multi-dimensional, spiritual being who has chosen to fragment into this temporary aspect to physically experience ascending in consciousness.
i am that I AM:
i am: my separated self—ego and personality—in this fragmented, temporary aspect of my whole, unified self.
that:my true multi-dimensional nature—many aspects, simultaneously experiencing reality from different perspectives, in many dimensions and timelines. I am that and that and that.
I AM:Unity consciousness—Source, God—in the infinite, eternal NOW….
King James 2000: Exodus 3:13-14
13 And Moses said unto God, Behold, when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of your fathers has sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his name? What shall I say unto them?
14 And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shall you say unto the children of Israel, I AM has sent me unto you.
As part of my exploration of I AM, I recently enjoyed listening to Matt Kahn’s deconstruction of the Biblical phrase “i am that I AM”. Here’s a summary of Matt’s interpretation; you may listen to his full talk in the video below:
i am that I AM
Transcribed from the recorded presentation: “I am that I AM” ~Matt Kahn, Aug 13, 2019
i am = the little ‘i’. The individualized self. The ego. Divinity in Potential.
THAT = a reference to anything—I am that, and that, and that. The journey of expansion from i am to I AM, through which we learn that: Everything is Source; Source is Everything.
I AM = the BIG I. GOD. Source. The One. Divinity in Reality. 1 (the Roman Numeral One) Awareness Manifested
T.H.A.T. stands for:
Truth: Everything is truth because truth is the inclusion of all experiences and viewpoints in our lives. It is that, and that, and that…. Truth means how authentically you present yourself in the presence of others. The question of truth is: Where in your life do you not find yourself acting authentically? And, if you don’t act authentically, it’s because there’s a part of you that doesn’t feel safe. And, if there’s a part of you that doesn’t feel safe, that’s where we love—because we’re training our nervous system to be able to hold the frequency of higher vibrations of consciousness.
Honour: The counterpart of truth, honour is the quality of choices that you embrace when no one is looking. When we do something privately that we know is not good for us, we are using it to hide from the lack of safety, the unworthiness, or the doubt that keeps us in the lower ‘i am’ perspective. This is why we love—we expose the hiding spot of our deepest vulnerabilities…bring it into the light so it can become the uppercase I AM of our highest potential.
Alignment: When we align Truth in the presence of people and Honour in the absence of people—those two qualities create Alignment.
Transcendence: We embody the ‘I AM’ within this ‘i am’ experience. I will love myself so deeply that I stop resonating with fantasy and I come into the reality that I AM so interconnected to all beings that people around me start popping open and waking up.
The totality of Oneness of the All cannot be ‘experienced’. Instead, it is known by virtue of being it. The ‘I’ of the Self is the Eye of God witnessing the unfolding of Creation as Now. Sequence is an illusion created by the perception of the ‘I’ of the ego, which is the point of observation of the processing of the nonlocal to the local, of the nonlinear to the linear, of Allness to ‘this-ness’. Perception is the eye of the ego that, as it translates the inexperienceable Infinite to the experienceable finite, produces the perception of time, place, duration, dimension, position, form, limitation, and singularity.
David R. Hawkins M.D. Ph.D
(1927 - 2012),The Eye of the I: From Which Nothing Is Hidden
Thank you, Matt, I hope this post adequately honours you and wisdom.
My soul is walking towards me. I read this line in a book recently—a very special book channelled by my dear friend and Mastermind partner Wolfgang Racher. I’ve been repeating it over and over. What does it mean?
To me, ‘My soul is walking towards me’ means that I am on my path to meeting my spiritual goals—my goals as an eternal spiritual being—in addition to my earthly ones. I AM becoming…more connected, more focused, more whole. I am growing in faith, awareness and the ability to love unconditionally. I am rising up to meet my perfect Self—the Self who never separated from God.
In my I AM Series, I discussed how I “self-identify”:
I AM an eternal spiritual being who has chosen to have this temporary physical experience for the purpose of growing in faith, awareness, and the ability to love unconditionally.
From: Acquittal for Mankind Chapter: It is possible!
By: Wolfgang Racher
This chapter tells us that IT IS POSSIBLE to:
Perceive your multi-dimensional character.
Change your states of consciousness.
Move through the channel more quickly that extends from human consciousness into all other planes of perception. The passage, the path between the forms of consciousness, is becoming more and more visible and easier to follow.
It is entirely possible for you to move effectively through the various denser or lighter planes of perception.
The longing to return home is very strong in most of you. Now, it is possible, in contrast to your memories of the Earth, to be “at home”, to find security, comfort, and Love HERE—you can create it and express it here, and bring peace to Earth!
It is now possible for you to achieve an awareness of your deepest origins, your nature, and your mission.
Challenging situations are there to raise you to the same size as the challenge appears to be to you. In such situations, there is also a part of you within it, which wants to lift you up to the same size.
I see my soul walking toward me. She looks young…radiant. Her outline glows in a golden light. She bounces gleefully, every step exuding confidence and certainty. Her bright eyes sparkle with excitement. She smiles widely, ending at dimpled cheeks like the dot on double exclamation points, genuine and full of enthusiasm. Her whole being shines in joyous expectancy.
“You came!” she exclaims, as she draws closer, lifting her arms wide, high into the air.
“I did,” I reply more quietly, slightly perplexed, more astounded, drinking in the profundity of the statement.
“When you believe everything you’ve said above, what is there to be afraid of?”
“Nothing.” I respond, truly realizing it for the first time.
She reaches me and I feel her warmth like sunlight.
I ask: “What do we do now?”
She smiles, then replies, “We dance.”
~ D.Lynn
There’s a future you—a you who already exists in the eternal present moment—who is actually calling himself or herself to the more familiar you who is reading this book. And that future you is more loving, more evolved, more conscious, more present, more kind, more exuberant, more mindful, more willful, more connected, more supernatural, and more whole. That is who is waiting for you to change your energy to match his or her energy on a daily basis so you can find that future you—who actually exists in the eternal now.
Joe Dispenza
Author,Becoming Supernatural: How Common People Are Doing the Uncommon
My eldest, Fynn, recently devoured The Hunger Games and then The Divergent novel series—both dystopian futuristic stories in which female heroines save the world from oppression. We watched the movies together.
Fynn asked me which faction I would most fit into—they took a quiz online that placed them in the Dauntless faction. I’ve felt challenged by fear much of my life so I certainly did not align with Dauntless. Their question prompted me to contemplate the concept of being Dauntless—fearless, determined, resolute, indomitable—and how it applies to ‘real’ life.
daunt·less
adjective
1. showing fearlessness and determination.
“dauntless bravery”
“only the most dauntless were selected for this dangerous expedition”
dictionary.com
The Divergent Factions
In Divergent… The society defines its citizens by their social and personality-related affiliation with five different factions, which removes the threat of anyone exercising independent will and threatening the population’s safety. Beatrice Prior, who later changes her name to Tris, an Abnegation-born and Dauntless transfer, must figure out her life as a Divergent, while concealing her true nature, and living with the danger of being killed if it is discovered by the Erudite and Dauntless leaders. Source: Wikipedia
The 5 factions are:
Dauntless (the brave who are cruel)
Amity (the peaceful who are passive)
Erudite (the intelligent who are power-hungry and vain)
The authors of these types of novels (Harry Potter and The Lord of the Rings are no exception), tend to draw lines of light & dark, good & bad, very clearly:
We know what’s good. And what’s bad.
We know who’s good. And who’s bad.
We know who will win. And who will lose.
In ‘real’ life, we tend to experience far more ambiguity, open to interpretation:
The world is complex.
We must daily navigate uncertainty.
There is no obvious foe. People show us their depth of complexity.
The rules of the game are not often apparent enough to define how to win or lose.
I don’t fear my inability to save the world through Herculean tasks like conquering He Who Must Not Be Named; I fear my inability to conquer my own fear enough to complete my ‘To Do’ List and my ‘To Be’ List before I die.
For most of us, being dauntless is more about:
Undauntedly tackling cleaning out the basement.
Unflinchingly stepping on the bathroom scale.
Unreservedly giving up booze for Lent.
Unshrinkingly facing the same dirty dishes, after cooking the same meals, day after day after day, with minimal complaining.
Even Downton Abby, a favourite series we watched devotedly, but with a completely different scenario (historical fiction drama versus sci-fi action), plays out like one giant highlights real in which the tedium of life happens “off-stage” while we as viewers flit effortlessly from one relevant scene to the next, spanning entire epic eras, like WWI, in a few episodes.
In real life, Bravery lies in:
Fearlessly facing the tedious tasks and the monotonous moments, with patience and optimism.
Resolutely choosing happiness now, amongst the piles of laundry and the unmade beds.
Determinately winning the internal mental battles that no one sees.
Persevering through daily trials with minimal drama, perhaps even with grace.
Battling boredom by voluntarily choosing to stretch further, reach higher, even though watching TV would be more comfortable.
Privately setting personal goals and working to achieve them without anyone actually knowing or caring—and still feeling victorious.
Courageously continuing despite a complete lack of outward evidence that you should.
Forgiving yourself when you fail, no matter how privately or publicly, and trying again.
Loving yourself now, before you’ve won.
Many people settle for fumbling their way through life with minimal suffering and fail. Becoming dauntless lies in wanting more and choosing to pursue it—no matter how small the steps or how slow the progress—with faith, determination, perseverance, and forgiveness.
I AM…becoming…dauntless.
Nosce Te Ipsum
Latin for 'Know thyself'.
“...[this] Greek aphorism may have been adopted from Ancient Egypt: there are two parts of the ancient Luxor Temple, the External Temple, where the beginners were allowed to enter and the Internal Temple where a person was only allowed to enter after proven worthy and ready to acquire more knowledge and insights. One of the proverbs of the External Temple is "The body is the house of God." In the Internal Temple, one of the many proverbs is "Man, know thyself, and you are going to know the gods".”
In the first post in this I AM Series, entitled I AM, I discussed how I “self-identify”:
I AM an eternal spiritual being who has chosen to have this temporary physical experience for the purpose of growing in faith, awareness, and the ability to love unconditionally.
As an eternal spiritual being, I believe that I have experienced many incarnations on this planet (and likely other planets) in many different bodies, circumstances, and geographies. I also believe that we all consciously choose our experiences and challenges in advance of each life, based upon our ultimate free will in combination with the law of karma. We choose the pivotal experiences in our physical lives for the purpose of growing in faith, awareness, and the ability to love unconditionally. We are always changing, always growing, always ‘becoming’ greater.
So, when something bad happens to us that appears to come out of the blue, the question to ask is not “Why me?”, but rather “What did I intend to learn from this experience?”—knowing that, if we, in our spiritual form, consciously chose this experience for ourselves, we must be capable of overcoming it and finding the purpose in it.
Doesn’t that question, “What did I intend to learn from this experience?”, shift your perspective on difficult or even tragic experiences?
When we succeed, we grow in faith in ourselves.
When we fail, we grow in our ability to forgive ourselves and love ourselves unconditionally.
As our awareness grows, we feel gratitude for all experiences, even the ones that feel negative at the time.
We start to understand our existence from a spiritual perspective—as a soul, not a biological organism.
We walk the path to becoming self-actualized.
Nosce Te Ipsum
Latin for 'Know thyself'.
“...[this] Greek aphorism may have been adopted from Ancient Egypt: there are two parts of the ancient Luxor Temple, the External Temple, where the beginners were allowed to enter and the Internal Temple where a person was only allowed to enter after proven worthy and ready to acquire more knowledge and insights. One of the proverbs of the External Temple is "The body is the house of God." In the Internal Temple, one of the many proverbs is "Man, know thyself, and you are going to know the gods".”
Maybe there’s nothing to figure out here at all. Maybe there’s just some insight you might want to let in. Your subconscious mind will do the rest. The subconscious is a better organizer than your conscious mind ever will be. …
The universe can organize itself. The embryo doesn’t need to figure out how to become a baby. Buds don’t have to figure out how to become blossoms. Nature has its plan figured out. …
Think of a pile of iron shavings Now, what’s the best way to form the shavings into a pattern, using your fingers or introducing a magnet? Your internal self is like a magnet. Call it the Christ, or your Inner Light, or whatever; there’s a spirit within you that naturally attracts all the patterns and details that would form your most beautiful life.
Marianne Williamson
Author,The Law of Divine Compensation
The I AM Series
Each Thrivival series contains 7 posts, in alignment with each of the 7 Thrivival categories. Begin with post 1 and ascend to 7:
A while back, I noticed several instances of the phrase “I self-identify as…” on social media—used by people to define themselves based on set categories associated with gender, race, profession, etc. I felt a sense of resistance to this “self-identification” because I personally see us as all the same—individualized spirits who are parts of One Source. I pondered how I “self-identify”. I define myself (and you) using this statement:
I AM an eternal spiritual being who has chosen to have this temporary physical experience for the purpose of growing in faith, awareness, and the ability to love unconditionally.
I AM:
An eternal spiritual being.
I AM a spirit, a soul, that will never die.
I will live forever.
Who has chosen to have this temporary physical experience I am currently inhabiting this physical body temporarily.
I chose to have this physical experience; above all, I have free will.
When I leave this body, I will likely choose to incarnate in another physical body, based on karma and my free will.
For the purpose of growing Everything changes, the universe continues to expand.
We came into this physical body for the purpose of experiencing life from a new perspective, to grow and expand in consciousness.
In faith, Faith in what? Faith in myself, my abilities, and power.
Awareness, and Awareness of what? Of my own power, of how the universe works, and how I can participate more fully in it.
The ability to love unconditionally
We came from Love and, ultimately, our purpose is to return to Love.
Every experience, every lesson, we have chosen to have in this life is ultimately intended to teach us to love unconditionally.
Including loving ourselves unconditionally.
Loving unconditionally incorporates Forgiving ourselves and others, and feeling Gratitude for everything.
Nosce Te Ipsum
Latin for 'Know thyself'.
“...[this] Greek aphorism may have been adopted from Ancient Egypt: there are two parts of the ancient Luxor Temple, the External Temple, where the beginners were allowed to enter and the Internal Temple where a person was only allowed to enter after proven worthy and ready to acquire more knowledge and insights. One of the proverbs of the External Temple is "The body is the house of God." In the Internal Temple, one of the many proverbs is "Man, know thyself, and you are going to know the gods".”
We learned Newton's Laws in School. But, what if there's more to reality than physics?
Based on the ancient esoteric teachings of Hermes, the Seven Universal Laws define how the universe works. Knowledge of the Universal Laws provides context; the wisdom in them provides insight; understanding them will change your perspective and open up new possibilities you had not dreamed of.
There's more to life than meets the eye….
In my new Seven Universal Laws course, we’ll explore ancient teachings, the latest quantum physics, sacred geometry, dream states, numerology, and more! Each week, we will learn and discuss one of the Seven Universal Laws and then apply the teaching through completing an easy, fun, sacred geometry art project.
Interested in learning more? Join me for a course introduction!
My eight-year-old daughter has a WonderWoman costume. Alas, it doesn’t fit me. But, I like to play dress-up in my mind. I imagine that I AM WonderWoman. I believe that I AM powerful. So powerful, that I can move physical things with my mind. I can manifest my reality. It’s fun to play….
The other day, I enjoyed remembering the experience of visiting a friend’s home and listening to music on their high-tech stereo with powerful speakers. The music created an intense impression. But, 25-years later, I could not remember the name of the album, the artist, nor recite a line from the lyrics. I felt frustrated. I wanted to listen to that music again—to see if it evoked the same intense impression.
In my frustration, I stated loudly (though inside my head): “Universe, I command that this artist and music come to me by 10am tomorrow morning.” I was actually a bit bossy and demanding about it! Then, I promptly forgot about it and continued actively working on other tasks.
The next morning, in the course of some spring cleaning and reorganizing, I attempted to re-install the door on a closet in our storage room, in which I had stored a large CD rack full of old CDs. Through the process (which involved some brute force), I accidentally sent a shelf of CDs flying. They scattered across the floor.
I picked the CDs up quickly—at this point, I was running late. I turned to my left to pick up the last CD and, there on the floor, all by itself, I saw it and instantly recognized it: the music that I had listened to so many years ago. I had completely forgotten about my request so it came as a complete surprise. Coincidence? I think not.
In reality, I am WonderWoman and you are SuperMan—disguised as Diana Prince and Clark Kent. But, we’ve forgotten who we truly are. Playing dress-up—allowing ourselves to experience life from a light-hearted sense of playfullness—takes off the pressure.
The very first principle stated in A Course in Miracles says:
“The first principle of miracles is that there is no order of difficulty among them. One is not ‘harder’ or ‘bigger’ than another. They are all the same.”
We know, theoretically, that “we have to believe it to see it”. Yet, in our current state, we could sometimes use a little reassurance—a little bit of “seeing it” to support our “believing it”. These small “games” build our confidence. Try it for yourself!
The WonderWoman Formula:
Clearly state the desire in words as a command.
Feel emotion associated with the request.
Include a deadline in the statement.
Release the expectation—it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t happen—think of it as simply a game.
Forget about it.
Actively engage in other pursuits.
Feel the sense of surprise and wonder when your desire manifests in the most unexpected way!
I’ve quoted As a Man Thinketh before on this blog in the post As a Woman Thinketh. And I’ve referred to this “secret” of success in other posts, like Let Me Tell You a Secret. This post explores the statement from the end of James Allen’s essay, entitled “As a Man Thinketh”: “Self-control is Strength.”
As a man thinketh, so is he… Our thoughts create our reality. We control our thoughts.
As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he… Our emotions create our reality. We control our emotions.
Self-control is strength… We must learn to exercise complete control over our thoughts and emotions. That strength of will is the key to serenity.
The Principle in Real Life—An Example
I have studied these principles for many years. Intellectually, I can teach them. But, like many people, I find successfully practicing them far more difficult. A while ago, I experienced a minor challenge to my mental serenity, which taught me that I definitely still have to work at controlling my thoughts and emotions.
Here’s What Happened
I had a negative encounter with a former colleague whom I felt demonstrated a lack of self-control, integrity, and emotional maturity that disturbed me greatly. I felt betrayed and undermined. The experience rattled me quite deeply.
Here’s How I Reacted
Over the course of days and, indeed, weeks, I fixated on the negative emotions, allowing them to play over in my mind obsessively. In fact, you could say I wanted to ‘paint it black’ for several weeks after—and to yell at the top of my lungs #TIMESUP.
But, what do negative emotions bring? Negative realities. I finally felt so miserable that I couldn’t focus or function effectively. Something had to give.
Here’s How I Finally Responded
I finally realized I needed to take control of my thoughts and the situation.
I choose to actively practice:
Self-Control. I quieted my ego. Despite recognizing that my ire was justified, I stopped allowing myself to indulge in the indignation. I forced my mind to stop ‘going there’—literally telling my ego to shut up when it attempted to stir up my anger yet again. I let go of the story.
Forgiveness. I endeavored to see the situation from his perspective and forgave him for his misjudgment. More importantly, I forgave myself for ‘not seeing it coming’. I let go of the guilt.
Action. I officially severed my business relationship with him permanently. I felt a great sense of relief once I gave myself permission to sacrifice the potential income I could have earned from him in favour of my own integrity and well-being. I reinforced my boundaries.
Gratitude. I appreciated how privileged I was to be in a position to simply sever my business relationship with him, knowing that many women encounter these situations in jobs that they cannot afford to quit. I realized that this minor negative encounter empowered me to better empathize with other women who experienced similar, often far more scarring encounters—perhaps even equipping me to help my own daughters some day to avoid such encounters entirely. Finally, I acknowledged and felt gratitude for my own integrity, grace, and strength of will. I reclaimed my power.
Perspective: I raised my awareness and saw the situation from a higher spiritual perspective. Working for him in exchange for a little money had wasted my time—time that I now dedicate to writing. What clearer message could I have received from the universe to stop misusing my time to help him accomplish his goals and move on to bigger, better endeavours—accomplishing my own goals. I saw the light.
James Allen’s As a Man Thinketh was published in Britain in 1903. The title of the essay refers to the verse from the Biblical book of Proverbs 23:7: “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he“.
The essay offers the key to success and happiness: “A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.” (Or: “A woman is literally what she thinks, her character being the complete sum of all her thoughts.”)
The book ends with these words, which have formed the inspiration for this series of 4 posts:
Since my youth, I have sought spiritual knowledge—and to understand the BIG questions. Today, I study spiritual works daily. This week, I’ve returned to the book The Law of Divine Compensation: On Work, Money, and Miracles, by Marianne Williamson.
In the The Law of Divine Compensation, Marianne interprets the Cinderella fairytale from a spiritual perspective: Cinderella manifested beauty and love in her life because she thought loving thoughts—her heart and mind were pure (“as a woman thinketh in her heart, so is she”).
Happily Ever Now: Cinderella’s pure and loving thoughts in the present led to her…
Happily Ever After: The abundance that she manifested on the physical plane to experience in the future.
I like to envision the story based on levels of consciousness (see David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness). Reality is multi-dimensional. We experience reality based on our frequency of vibration:
On the lower plane of vibration of fear and scarcity, Cinderella wore ugly rags. The wicked stepmother and stepsisters remained on the lower vibration—the realm of the ego.
On the higher plane of vibration of love and abundance, Cinderella wore a beautiful gown. Cinderella naturally resonated on the higher vibration of love—purity of heart—the Spirit. The Fairy Godmother helped Cinderella to receive the abundance that she deserved.
Cinderella = Soul: practicing free will—we choose what we think and feel.
Wicked Stepmother = Ego: the critic that obstructs our good.
Fairy Godmother = Holy Spirit: working miracles to fulfill our heart’s desire whenever we raise our vibrations enough to connect with it.
Here’s the wonderful excerpt from Chapter 15: Creating Wealth Through Purity of Heart:
Whatever Cinderella needed, the universe took care of it. Cinderella’s purity of heart called forth the Fairy Godmother—that is, the spirit within—and the Fairy Godmother called forth everything she needed.
The Fairy Godmother’s wand? True, loving thought.
The light her wand casts onto things? True understanding.
The magic she works? The miracles that result.
The Fairy Godmother didn’t have to order a dress or call out for a car because the universe miraculously transformed existing material. That’s how the universe operates: whatever already is, is the platform for what could be. Cinderella, despite her circumstances as a servant, had the mind-set of the miraculous. And so miracles came to her.
Our souls are Cinderella, the ego is the wicked stepmother, and the Holy Spirit is our Fairy Godmother. Each of us has a “wicked stepmother”, i.e., ego mind, seeing to obstruct our good. And each of us has a “Fairy Godmother,” i.e. Holy Spirit, working miracles to fulfill our heart’s desire whenever our attitudes are pure.
Wealth does not come from ‘somewhere else’. It doesn’t come from outside us, but rather manifests according to our thoughts….
When we realize the universe itself is the source of our good, we simply allow it to fill our needs in whatever way it chooses….
Purity of heart, then, is the miracle-worker’s greatest engine of wealth creation.
Marianne Williamson
The Law of Divine Compensation: On Work, Money, and Miracles
The Map of Consciousness
Dr. David Hawkins
1927 – 2012
Explained in his book: Power vs Force
HAPPY NEW YEAR! I’m so excited to invite you to my next Creativity Course for Winter 2018! If you’re interested in igniting your creativity, or know someone else who could use some creative inspiration, please join me or pass on this info—I still have spots available! I’m wishing you your BEST YEAR YET in 2018!
WHY: We are all naturally creative beings. We create careers, products, solutions, and businesses. We create homes, families, foods, and traditions. We create successes, problems, connections, and divisions. Humankind has created masterpieces of art, architecture, technology, and philosophy. But, on a daily basis, how aware are you of your powers of creation? Has your creativity flourished or stagnated? Would you like to explore new possibilities, change perspectives, recharge your spiritual batteries, and awaken your creative genius?
My 11-week Ignite Your Creativity course will rekindle your imagination, spiritual connection, and creative vision, through fun, inspiring artistic activities, in a relaxed, encouraging setting. What a great way to start the New Year—please join me!
WHAT: Each week, we’ll explore new ideas together and create a new artistic masterpiece as a metaphor for creating our best life:
Week 1: Mindfulness – Journaling with Monograms
Week 2: Focus – Colouring with Zen Patterns
Week 3: Image-Making – Acrostic Poetry
Week 4: Perspective – Drawing with a Grid
Week 5: Connecting – Meditation with Meditation Beads
Week 6: Visioning – Collage with Soul Cards
Week 7: Decision – Autobiography in Short
Week 8: Expectation – Goal Setting with Goal Cards
Today, my MasterMind group started our next course of study together—the classic success-thinking book Think and Grow Rich written by Napoleon Hill in 1937. In a way, this book brought me to this wonderful group of kindred spirits in the first place. In it, Napoleon Hill describes the concept of MasterMind groups.
For me, re-reading the Introduction of Think and Grow Rich felt like reuniting with an old friend—I have already studied the book closely. Although the title of the book appears to label it as a guide for accumulating money, it actually provides a formula for true prosperity—the “secret” to success—to creating a life of abundance in all things, including happiness, health, spiritual wealth and material comfort.
In the Introduction, Hill refers several times to “the secret”:
“The secret to which I refer has been mentioned no fewer than a hundred times, throughout this book. It has not been directly named, for it seems to work more successfully when it is merely uncovered and left in sight, where THOSE WHO ARE READY, and SEARCHING FOR IT, may pick it up.”
It’s the same “secret” made ever-more famous by Rhonda Byrne in the best-selling 2006 self-help book entitled The Secret. In fact, it’s a “secret” that has been passed down for thousands of years—it forms the foundation of many (perhaps all) esoteric teachings.
Napoleon Hill ends Chapter 1 of Think and Grow Rich with a reference to William Ernest Henley’s poem Invictus (which is Latin for Unconquered). Do you see the secret in it?
Hill indicates that the Secret to Success requires you to:
Be ready to receive.
Know what you want.
Have a deep desire to get it.
Practice determination.
Have the will to control your thoughts.
You are “The Master of Your Fate, the Captain of Your Soul,” Because…
When Henley wrote the prophetic lines, “I am the Master of my Fate, I am the Captain of my Soul,” he should have informed us that we are the Masters of our Fate, the Captains of our Souls, because we have the power to control our thoughts.
He should have told us that the ether in which this little earth floats, in which we move and have our being, is a form of energy moving at an inconceivably high rate of vibration, and that the ether is filled with a form of universal power which adapts itself to the nature of the thoughts we hold in our minds; and influences us, in natural ways, to transmute our thoughts into their physical equivalent.
If the poet had told us of this great truth, we would know why it is that we are the Masters of our Fate, the Captains of our Souls. He should have told us, with great emphasis, that this power makes no attempt to discriminate between destructive thoughts and constructive thoughts, that it will urge us to translate into physical reality thoughts of poverty, just as quickly as it will influence us to act upon thoughts of riches.
He should have told us, too, that our brains become magnetized with the dominating thoughts which we hold in our minds, and, by means with which no man is familiar, these “magnets” attract to us the forces, the people, the circumstances of life which harmonize with the nature of our dominating thoughts.
About Think and Grow Rich
Think and Grow Rich was written in 1937 by Napoleon Hill, promoted as a personal development and self-improvement book. … First published during the Great Depression, at the time of Hill’s death in 1970, Think and Grow Rich had sold more than 20 million copies, and by 2015 over 100 million copies had been sold worldwide.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll, I AM the master of my fate:
I AM the captain of my soul.
About the Poem Invictus
“Invictus” is a short Victorian poem by the English poet William Ernest Henley (1849–1903). It was written in 1875 and published in 1888—originally with no title—in his first volume of poems, Book of Verses, in the section Life and Death (Echoes).
Halloween came and went, leaving us sick of sweets and craving some real, hearty, stomach-warming food. Our choice of Pumpkin Beef Chili stemmed from two simultaneous predicaments: A very large pumpkin carved like a cat and an excess of ground beef.
Halloween Pumpkins: Many people simply compost their jack-o-lanterns but these pumpkins are perfectly good to eat, assuming you have not left them outside for days and days. We carve our pumpkin the day of Halloween and then bring him in again before midnight. Large pumpkins don’t make great pies because they hold too much water and not enough flavour. But, they’re great for soup and added into other full-flavoured dishes like chili.
Grass-Fed Ground Beef: If you purchase local food based on the seasons (and I hope you do :-), you know that ‘tis the season for cleaning out the freezer in preparation for new meat orders. We’re finishing off the last of last year’s grass-fed beef. At this point in the year, the roasts are long gone, the steaks are gone, and we’re down to a few sparse cuts, some bones, and an excess of ground beef. (Find more information about How is Grass-Fed Beef Different and How Do I Purchase Grass-Fed Beef.)
1 large yellow onion, diced 4 cloves garlic, minced 4 stalks celery, chopped 1 bell pepper, diced 1 jar diced tomatoes
¼ C 100% cacao powder 2 tsp ground cumin 1 tsp red pepper flakes 1 tsp chilli powder (or to taste) 1 tsp smoked paprika 1 tsp salt black pepper to taste
Avoiding Cans:
We really try to avoid eating canned food.
Tomatoes: The acidity in tomatoes makes them particularly prone to absorbing chemicals from the plastic coating or aluminum on the inside of the can. So, what to do? You can freeze tomatoes whole in peak season, although they use a lot of precious freezer space. You can also make your own tomato sauce and either “can” it in glass jars or freeze it. If you have not prepared any of these, try to buy tomatoes or tomato sauce in glass jars rather than cans.
Beans: Canned beans have been cooked at extremely high temperatures through industrial processing methods and retain very few nutrients. Like any other canned food, they absorb chemicals and metals from the can. On the other hand, organic, locally grown beans dried and sold in bags offer a healthier and more cost-effective option. Just remember to plan in advance—you’ll need to soak your beans for 24-hours or so and then simmer them in advance.
Directions
Prepare your Beans
Are you eating Paleo? No worries, just leave the beans out! We eat very few grains and legumes but we had some dry kidney beans sitting in the pantry so decided to add them in.
Soak: The day before, put your dry kidney beans in a pot of fresh, cold water and leave them to soak for about 24-hours. During that time, change the water at least once.
Remove the Skins: Like the hull on grains, the skins on legumes contain phytates—chemicals that damage our gut lining and block nutrient absorption. So, removing the skins is optimal but also tedious. Depending on the beans, the skins do typically loosen as the beans puff back up. I typically use my hands to grind the beans against one another, removing some of the skins. I haven’t succeeded in removing more than, say, a quarter of them but figure that is better than none.
Cook the Beans: I always boil the beans in a pot with lots of salted water first and then, once they are moderately soft (they’ll cook more in the chilli), rinse them in preparation for adding them to the chilli.
Prepare the Other Ingredients
In a large pan, heat lard over medium heat.
Add garlic and onion; sauté until slightly tender.
Add the ground beef and brown.
Add meat/garlic/onion mixture to the crock-pot.
In no particular order, add in the other ingredients and spices. Of course, feel free to modify the spice list to suit your taste.
Stir all ingredients well and set Crock-Pot to low and cook for 6-8 hours, stirring occasionally.
Serve and enjoy! Freeze the rest for quick thaw and heat dinners!
What happens when you remove all impediments but your own fear?
That is my “BIG QUESTION”—the question my life endeavours to answer.
Everyone’s life has purpose—everyone’s birthplace, situation, those circumstances into which you were born and seemingly have had no say in and no control over in this life—have purpose.
What have I been born into? An easy life. Born in a first-world country. Into a family that struggled a little for the finer things in life but none for basic needs. Privileged enough to attend university and earn two degrees. Lucky enough to secure a good job directly out of school. Never having experienced a single injury, serious illness, nor accident. Having the privilege to stay home with my children past infancy into their childhood. Wanting only for the occasional vacation, but, otherwise wanting for nothing. How did I earn such a privileged life? And why?
Because this is my gift: to experience a life in which all physical impediments to my success—to fulfilling my purpose in this life—are removed and all that’s left is me. It’s all on me.
Eek.
As I’ve sarcastically commented too many times: “but, no pressure…”. No excuses. No hurdles to leap. No boundaries to cross. No external resistance to overcome. Nothing but my own self-created, internally constructed walls to climb or break down. My own mindfields and terror barriers built of fear and self-doubt and self-guilt.
So, what happens when you remove all impediments but your own fear? Apparently, in my case anyway, you still struggle. But, isn’t that the truth for all of us?
Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is…fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
32nd President of the United States,First Inauguration Speech, Saturday, March 4, 1933
Regardless of the circumstances into which we were born, or the circumstances into which we landed ourselves afterward, we all have to choose: to advance into unchartered territory or to stay in safety. How?
I’ve started to tell myself the most comforting and confidence-invoking words I’ve ever heard. I don’t believe anyone has ever said them to me, but that’s okay. I’ve started saying them to myself:
“You’ve got this.”
Stand in front of the mirror and look directly, unswervingly, into your own eyes—the windows into your own soul—and say to yourself: “You’ve got this.”
Because I do. You do. You’ve Got This.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne Williamson
A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles",Ch. 7, Section 3 (1992), p. 190
I returned home from running errands to an unexpected but very welcome email:
“On behalf of Kitchener Public Library & the KW Community Foundation, I am pleased to inform you that Tasneem Jamal, prose judge has selected your entry Excerpts from the novel Life By Fire as a winner in the Dorothy Shoemaker Literary Awards Contest. You have won 1st prize in the Adult Division and publication in The Changing Image!”
I had submitted my work to the contest last November and then promptly forgot about it. So, I felt surprised and…humbled when I read and reread the message. I didn’t dance for joy. I cried a little: Someone who had never met me had read a small piece of my work and found it worthy—in fact, more worthy than many others submitted.
How do these contests add value?
They encourage writers, who may otherwise give up, to continue to write.
I admit, I’d lost faith in this work—the novel I’ve been calling “Life By Fire”. Although I definitely hadn’t given up on it completely, I had put it aside and started other projects. Writing is lonely work. Engulfing yourself in a fictitious world with fictitious characters, completely detached from the “real” world and people around you, can feel alienating. I write based on a deep desire to connect with people through words, yet the practice of it isolates me. Combine that with repeated reminders from practical, well-meaning people that “even best-selling authors don’t make any money” and “it’s almost impossible to get a publisher” and “everybody’s writing a book”…and one begins to see writing as a guilty pleasure, a “hobby” at best and, at worst, a complete waste of time—time that should be spent making a reliable, steady income like everybody else.
But, Tasneem Jamal, an experienced editor and published novelist (who did give up making a reliable, steady income to pursue her writing and publish it successfully), had read my small excerpt (only 1,500 words) and deemed it worthy of an award—1st prize, even.
I Googled Tasneem and enjoyed reading her blog, particularly the post entitled We Packed Up the Kids and Moved to Tanzania. Then Things Fell Apart, which appeared in Chatelaine magazine’s April 2015 issue. In a way, she and I are completely opposite—she writes about having taken too many risks and I lament having taken too few. But a common thread appears to connect our writing: like so many women, we have both expressed guilt associated with “not doing ‘it’ well enough”. ‘It’ being life in general, parenting specifically…and, for me anyway, pursuing my writing goals.
So, perhaps, above all, receiving this small award has reminded me that doing it badly is better than not doing it at all. I will continue to work on Life By Fire in addition to my other writing projects, I will publish them, and I will experience success.
Thank You
I feel a deep sense of gratitude and appreciation—and for that, I wish to say a very heart-felt thank-you…
Tasneem, thank you for reading my work and recognizing my efforts. Also, thank you also for your words and your honesty.
Ms. Shoemaker, thank you for establishing this literary award, ensuring its continuance, and, through it, connecting with me across time to encourage me to continue to write.
Kitchener Public Library & the KW Community Foundation, thank you for your ongoing dedication to administering the awards on Ms. Shoemaker’s behalf.
And thank YOU if you read down this far.
About the Dorothy Shoemaker Literary Awards
The Dorothy Shoemaker Literary Awards began in 1967 as a Centennial project, created by Dorothy Shoemaker, Kitchener Public Library’s Chief Librarian from 1944 to 1971.
In 1996, government funding for the Literary Awards was eliminated. To ensure the Awards could continue, Dorothy Shoemaker made a significant personal donation. In 2000, Dorothy Shoemaker died at the age of 94. However, her legacy of support for aspiring writers continues today through her ongoing endowment.
2016 Contest Winners
Youth Poetry
1st Place: Growth by Candice Rubie
2nd Place: Where I’m From by Ellia Bishop
3rd Place: The Lady of Badakhshan by Farzam Karimi
Honourable Mention: The Colour Brown by Devshi Perera
Adult Poetry
1st Place: Bearborne by Dylan Siebert
2nd Place: An Incomplete List of Animals, Extinct: 1985-2015 by Graeme Ruck
3rd Place: Ancestors by Leslie Bamford
Honourable Mention: Her Name is Nurse by Jenna Hazzard
Honourable Mention: The Diner: A Sestina by Jenna Hazzard
Youth Prose
1st Place: Vultures by Rachel Garritsen
2nd Place: How I Wish it Went by Cynthia Wekesa
3rd Place: Wolf Boy by Mackayla Werstine
Adult Prose
1st Place: Life By Fire by Deborah Jones
2nd Place: A Gentle Flutter of Feathers by Cheryl Rosbak
3rd Place: How Do You Do? by Ryan Boggs
Honourable Mention: Between, Amongst, On Top Of by Tiffany Irwin
Honourable Mention: No Man’s Land by Jennifer Sloan Walker
No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.
Albert Einstein
How do I create the life that I want?
If I am an eternal creative being, meant for expansion and fuller expression, then how do I create the life that I want? Christie Marie Sheldon tells us that, as an infinite being, we have only 2 things: 1. Awareness. 2. Choice. We have to become aware that we can create the life that we want. And, then, we have to choose what that life is. How?
In the video included at the bottom of this post, Michael Beckwith explains how to tune into a friendly universe to get what we want through life visioning. Enjoy!
Visualization vs. Visioning
Visualization
Visualization is about…
Choice
Instructing
Control
Visioning
Visioning is about…
Awareness
Asking
Surrender
The Visualization Process:
Picture what you want.
Feel the positive emotion associated with having it.
Repeat that process until the image is successfully planted in your sub-conscious mind.
Manifest that reality.
The Visioning Process:
Visioning begins with a question.
Limitations to Visualization:
You have to know what you want.
It only works within the framework of your paradigm.
Teaches us that we can control our circumstances.
Possibilities of Visioning:
Captures an idea outside of your current paradigm.
About becoming receptive to a spiritual idea that the universe wants to birth through you.
Begins with a spiritual idea planted within us, associated with our destiny.
Teaches us the power of surrender.
How do I practice visioning?
Visioning begins with a question.
Behind every problem, there is a question trying to ask itself.
Behind every question, there is an answer trying to reveal itself.
Behind every answer, there is an action trying to take place.
Behind every action, there is a way of life trying to be born.
Michael Beckwith
Questions like:
What is the nature of prosperity?
What is the universe’s vision for me?
What must I release to serve the vision?
The Oak Tree
If an acorn were to practice Life Visioning, it would:
Ask what it has the potential to become: What am I? What is my purpose in this life?
Become consciously aware of that potential: I AM an oak tree.
Envision itself as a full self-actualized splendid, strong, tall, perfectly unique oak tree: I AM strong. I AM splendid.
I’ve quoted As a Man Thinketh before on this blog in the post As a Woman Thinketh. And I’ve referred to this “secret” of success in other posts, like Let Me Tell You a Secret. Because it is so worth reading again and again, this post provides you with the entire last chapter of James Allen’s essay, entitled “As a Man Thinketh”:
The Last Chapter of As a Man Thinketh
CALMNESS of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. It is the result of long and patient effort in self-control. Its presence is an indication of ripened experience, and of a more than ordinary knowledge of the laws and operations of thought.
A woman becomes calm in the measure that she understands herself as a thought-evolved being, for such knowledge necessitates the understanding of others as the result of thought, and as she develops a right understanding, and sees more and more clearly the internal relationships of things by the action of cause and effect, she ceases to fuss and fume and worry and grieve, and remains poised, steadfast, serene.
The calm woman, having learned how to govern herself, knows how to adapt herself to others; and they, in turn, reverence her spiritual strength, and feel that they can learn of her and rely upon her. The more tranquil a woman becomes, the greater is her success, her influence, her power for good. Even the ordinary trader will find her business prosperity increase as she develops a greater self-control and equanimity, for people will always prefer to deal with a woman whose demeanor is strongly equable.
The strong, calm woman is always loved and revered. She is like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm. “Who does not love a tranquil heart, a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It does not matter whether it rains or shines, or what changes come to those possessing these blessings, for they are always sweet, serene, and calm. That exquisite poise of character, which we call serenity is the last lesson of culture, the fruitage of the soul. It is precious as wisdom, more to be desired than gold—yea, than even fine gold. How insignificant mere money-seeking looks in comparison with a serene life—a life that dwells in the ocean of Truth, beneath the waves, beyond the reach of tempests, in the Eternal Calm!
How few people we meet in life who are well balanced, who have that exquisite poise which is characteristic of the finished character! Only the wise woman, only she whose thoughts are controlled and purified, makes the winds and the storms of the soul obey her.
James Allen’s As a Man Thinketh was published in Britain in 1903. The title of the essay refers to the verse from the Biblical book of Proverbs 23:7: “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he“.
The essay offers the key to success and happiness: “A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.” (Or: “A woman is literally what she thinks, her character being the complete sum of all her thoughts.”)
The book ends with these words, which have formed the inspiration for this series of 4 posts:
This beautiful video, by Alan Watts & David Lindberg, explains so eloquently Why Your Life Is Not A Journey:
Existence, the physical universe, is basically playful. It does not have some destination that it ought to arrive at. But it is best understood by analogy with music. Because music as an art form is essentially playful.
We thought of life as a journey, a pilgrimage, and the goal is to get to the end. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical and you were supposed to sing and dance while the music was being played.
The blessings listed by Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5:3–11).
In Biblical tradition, Beatitude means “blessings and great happiness”. The New Testament Book of Matthew relates: “Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him,and he began to teach them.”
In what we now call the Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5:3–11), Jesus taught the Eight Beatitudes, or lessons for achieving blessings and great happiness. He spoke the Beatitudes in the peoples’ language of Aramaic. However, Aramaic has proven difficult to translate accurately because, as a predominantly oral language, it contained much slang and nuance. The King James translation (and more modern translations that have followed) have perplexed many diligent spiritual students.
In one of my favourite books, Love Without End, by Glenda Green, Jesus clarifies these lessons for us. Here is a summary of explanations directly from Chapter 9 of the book:
The Beatitudes
I. Simplicity
King James Version Translation: Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
More accurate translation from Aramaic: Blessed are those who live in simplicity,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Love is the simplicity of your power.
Avoid Unnecessary Complexities, Hierarchies and Structure
Refrain from introducing complexities and hierarchies into spiritual pursuits or life in general. Don’t empower belief systems that limit and control your approach to God.
Hierarchies are a part of worldly elitism. Structure belongs to the earth. As you ascend to a higher, more loving relationship with your fellow man and your Creator, the dominance of structure will fall away. In love and spirit there are neither hierarchies nor structure. Love is the source of your life.
Do not take anything from the spirit. Spirit is in all things, of all things, and with all things. Where spirit is concerned there are no prerequisites and no hierarchies. The spirit is one.
Accepting and honouring the one spirit from the simplicity of your own place in life is the key to heaven. Accept it where you are, as you are. Be yourself.
Avoid Unnecessary Mental Complexities and Hierarchies, Which Generate More Structure
Maintain simplicity in your thoughts as well. Thoughts generate performance. So, guard your thoughts and instruct them well. Mental activity invariably results in complexities, which must be implemented by structure. Within hierarchies of mental structure, ideas ascend in levels of sophistication. Such complicated standards will always establish some persons or situations as superior to others. Love, on the other hand, is simple and so is the spirit. Stay with simplicity and avoid the pitfalls of complicated living.
You must put love behind your thoughts to make them work. If your love is the archer, then your mind is the bow, and your thoughts are the arrows. Without careful direction of thoughts, you will not hit the target. Without love to pull the bow string, your motivation will be weak or misdirected. Love is the simplicity of your power.
II. Release
King James Version Translation: Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.
More accurate translation from Aramaic: Blessed are they who release and purge grief,
for they shall be comforted.
Grieving is clinging to that which has been lost—mourning is the act of letting go.
There are two parts to love—attaching and letting go. Only through living and understanding both phases of love is a being complete.
When a person first recognizes and experiences grief, it comes as an affliction. As the process completes itself in the latter stages of surrender, there is mourning.
Mourning is the free flowing of tears as acceptance and releasing are experienced. In this state, the heart can perceive a continuity of life even though certain attachments have been lost. In letting go of that which cannot be retained, one heals. It is through releasing that one is blessed.
III. Moderation
King James Version Translation: Blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.
More accurate translation from Aramaic: Blessed are those who live in moderation,
for they shall inherit the earth.
Moderation is balance. In balance, we find wholeness, fulfillment, and blessing.
Only the properties of your heart can bring fulfillment and nourishment to your life. In practicing moderation, you will know this.
Moderation is the economy of God, and the economy of blessing. When you live in moderation, you are in balance. When you live in balance, you are whole. When you are whole, you inherit the earth.
Moderation is not an invocation of limits or conformity, but rather moderation isan invocation of the rationality that a person is more complete when in balance. What a person requires is governed by what he or she can love! Through moderation, under the command of love, everything is provided.
Moderation is a relative concept what derives its power from equilibrium and balance. It cannot be enforced with identical value or limitation on all people. This must be learned through discernment.
Moderation is equilibrium, but it is not static inert balance, which has no inner life or variance. There is a certain progressive attainment that maintains itself by growth, fluctuation, conservation, and sharing. ‘Well being’ is the true feeling of moderation.
Pursue moderation in all things—not only in material accumulation or in our physical comforts, but also in the food you eat, and in mental pursuits, habits, and work. As heaven comes to earth, the standard of economy will be that of moderation. It will no longer be the norm for some to hoard while others starve. Sharing will become a joy as you learn that everything you share will be multiplied and then become the basis of your own receiving.
IV. Righteousness
King James Version Translation: Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be filled.
Righteousness is you being the love that you are.
This blessing is directly linked to the Sacred Heart, for when a person hungers and thirsts for righteousness, the basic purity and innocence of his heart will be awakened.
Righteousness means that you are right with yourself, right with your fellow man, right with God, and right with the one spirit. Simply be the love that you are. That is discovered and developed through a right relationship with the heart.
The heart is a powerful magnetic center that generates life energy for the body and the soul and draws to you all the needs and requirements of your life. Within the Sacred Chamber of the heart you will feel the presence of your Creator and be anointed with His righteousness. From these holy communions, higher principles of intelligence (unity, love, life, respect, honesty, justice, and kindness) will be revealed to you, and through them rightness will come to your life.
V. Mercy
King James Version Translation: Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.
Those who extend mercy, receive mercy. In forgiving, we are forgiven. Only the heart can understand forgiveness.
Practice forgiveness everyday. It liberates the soul from bondage, and beyond that, forgiveness is an action that your mind can never understand. Whenever you are merciful, you grow. As you grow you become more blessed, and the very things that might harm you or cause you resistance will be given no power. Mercy is the flower of growth. Those who are restrained in mercy will have limited influence in life.
VI. Purity of Heart
King James Version Translation: Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.
In the eyes of God, who knows nothing of sin, you are nothing less than perfect. Which is why the very act of sin separates you from your Source. In the purity of your heart you are one with your Creator.
Until you see yourself as pure, perfect and innocent, you will not enter the Sacred Chamber of the heart. As long as you try to carry all of your unworthiness and mistakes in with you, you will stay on the threshold of your heart and not enter.
In the sacred chamber you are one with the Father, and in that oneness your Source knows everything you need, and beholds no imperfection. When you enter the sacred heart, you are restored in your life and you are made whole again.
Through innocent perception, you may also perceive the presence of God in all of existence. This is purity of perception. Everything was created in innocence. Behold this, if you would see the face of God.
Most conflict is self-generated by rejections of life and denial of existence as it really is.
Although the mind strives to understand, it will invent what it cannot understand—or worse still, it will judge. The mind will invent realities that lead you away from who you are and the true purposes of your life. When you surrender to the fact that existence does not require invention—that it simply is—you will be on the threshold of actually looking into the face of God.
Judgment will separate you from this sacred space. Judgement is actually the only sin of which a pure and perfect child of God is capable. Judgment was the original sin, and continual pursuit of it will keep you from the presence of your Creator.
(The Hebrew word for judgement, which is ‘mishpat’ actually refers to redemption and vindication—not to accusation and condemnation. The ancient Hebrew meaning of judgement is protection of personal rights in the face of accusation.)
VII. Peace
King James Version Translation: Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called children of God.
Seek to perceive wholeness in all things.
There are many ways to make peace in life. Its power comes from the grace of ending duality. You will be blessed with wholeness as you end duality.
You are a peacemaker when you rise above the concept that life must be viewed as a conflict between polar opposites. A dualistic approach to living is no longer useful. Our oneness of spirit needs to be recognized and implemented through acceptance.
The conceptual model of duality is a simplistic frame of reference created by the mind to satisfy its dependency upon structure and symmetry. The mind seeks to explain rather than understand. Once the full scope of understanding is attained, duality fades away.
Higher intelligence is manifested through integrated perceptions of wholeness, which restore your recognition of the one spirit. The sons of God are those who do not explain life or manage it with dualistic concepts. The sons of God are those who seek to perceive wholeness in all things.
VIII. Transcendence of Suffering through Love
King James Version Translation: Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
More accurate translation from Aramaic: Blessed are they who transcend suffering through love,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Righteousness is you being the love that you are. Only when you love beyond all of the external conditions that logically tell you not to do so, can you discover the deeper wellspring of love that you are.
In English, persecution implies an intentional harassment or punishment. In Aramaic, persecution typically meant ‘suffering’.
The vanishing of illusion: Whenever you stand firmly in the midst of a hardship, holding and expressing the love that you are, you will witness illusions falling away. Through being the love that you are, you are empowered to transcend your sufferings.
Through love you have the power over any situation. Only, you will never truly know this until you have surmounted adversity. This last beatitude is the greatest of all blessings. For in learning it, you are free forever from the illusions that would attempt to conquer you and misdirect your life.
Our Creator never afflicts or badgers His children, although it is his greatest yearning to be known by them in the fullness of existence. It is through challenge and the survival of suffering that a person grows beyond his protective bubble to experience the love of God in a greater way.
One who has known God only in a state of well-being has just known the smallest portion of the Creator. One who must place conditions on how to receive God cannot receive God. One who can only know God in blissful and abundant experiences has no power in the rest of life. What is the Kingdom of Heaven except the wholeness of everything?
To learn that love is a power that comes from within, love your enemies.
The power of this blessing resides in the fact that the Creator of all things is present with all things and in all things. There is no place where God is not. There is no experience in which God is not. There is no dimension of understanding or awareness where God is not.
From: Love Without End, Chapter 9: The Blessed Life
Row, row, row, your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
My dear friend and Mastermind partner, Donna Cox, recently wrote a blog post entitled Row your own boat that reminded me of the hidden wisdom in this little nursery rhyme.
I entitled this website and my novel in progress Life By Fire in juxtaposition to my past feelings that I was living a life in which “I barely tread water, barely keep afloat. Perpetually behind, perpetually overwhelmed, stuck in a whirlpool going round, round, and around. Life by drowning.” As a result, I find the wisdom in this little song particularly fitting! I wanted to share my contemplations on this rhyme with you—as Donna said, “Now who would have thought that this children’s song could be so filled with wisdom about how to live life?”
How to Live based on Row, Row, Row, Your Boat:
1 Get into the boat.
As intimated above, I spent too many years feeling that I was treading water, cold and wet, working wearily but getting no where. We often make life harder on ourselves than it needs to be. Why? Many reasons but, for me, the issue stemmed from some deep-set scarcity issues—believing that I never had enough energy, time, money, freedom—to do what I really wanted to do.
Some people spend their whole lives swimming, without ever realizing that there could be a boat. Some people spend their lives looking for the boat, but never swimming downstream to find it. Some people spend their lives swimming beside the boat without ever giving themselves permission to climb into it. The key to happiness is to get out of the water and into the boat.
What does the boat represent? The boat represents your rightful place in this life. Your boat is your purpose.
2 Get your own boat.
Don’t squat on or borrow someone else’s purpose—find your own. We’ve heard of the classic empty nest syndrome—mothers who devote their entire being to raising their children and then feel devastated and empty when their children grow up and leave. Other people give responsibility for “doing” to their spouse, and support their spouse’s purpose, rather than finding their own. Some people feel unworthy of their calling and therefore never answer it. Others believe that what they want to do and need to do conflict. We all have our own unique purpose to fulfill in this life and we are all worthy of accepting it. Get into your boat.
3 Choose the boat you really want.
Current science indicates that the natural state of the universe is constant expansion. Nature shows us countless examples of abundance. As eternal beings with infinity as our playground, we are made for expansion and fuller expression. Abundance is our natural state; scarcity is an artificial construct. So, don’t settle for a second-rate boat! Don’t stay in the job you hate because you think it’s the only way to make money. Don’t settle in the house you don’t like because you don’t believe you can afford a better one. Don’t ignore those good ideas that you really want to pursue because you fear taking a risk. Don’t get into the leaky little fishing boat, to spend your life bailing water, when you really want to sail! Think bigger—make your goal the luxury yacht!
4 Anchors aweigh.
The only constant in life is change. We can’t stop time. We can’t keep things perpetually the same no matter how desperately we want to cling to the past or the present for comfort. We need to embrace the journey and move forward.
If you want to go somewhere, you need to raise the anchor. The anchor represents spiritual blocks and judgments, terror barriers and paradigms—deep-rooted conditioning that keeps you stuck in a state of fearful paralysis. We need to raise our awareness and make the conscious choice to release these blocks and overcome fears in order to move forward.
5 Row.
Life requires work—mental work, physical work, emotional work, spiritual work—work. We can ignore it, deny it, lament it, procrastinate about it, and complain about it, or we can accept it and do it. So, we may as well get on with it.
Most people do not come into this world knowing their purpose. You have to work to find it and then work to fulfill it. There is no magic bullet. Most people go through a significant amount of dreaming, hoping, wishing, desiring, planning, struggling, and working before they attain their goals. So, get rowing.
6 Go gently.
Be gentle with yourself and others. Forgive, forgive, forgive yourself and others for mistakes you have made in the past so that you can move forward with a clean slate. Row gently—don’t wear yourself out with daily toil—balance efficient, productive work with rest and rejuvenation.
7 Point your boat and your focus down stream.
“Resist not…” If the universe is always for expansion and fuller expression, then so are you—go with it. Dissatisfaction is healthy if it leads you to positive change. Embrace change and opportunity. Take risks. Follow your instinct. Go with your flow and look ahead!
Some people spend their lives focusing on the past—lamenting it, regretting it, reminiscing about it. Don’t sit backward facing the wake and then worry over the tumultuous water! Forget the past, only now really exists. So, take your seat in the Captain’s chair, look ahead, and steer your boat! As you travel downstream, it widens into a river—the vast open ocean of possibilities awaits you!
8 Feel joy—sing along the way.
“Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily…” Life is an experience, not a journey to a determined destination—enjoy the ride downstream and sing along the way. I recently watched a beautiful video based on the words of British philosopher Alan Watts who likened life to music. (I wrote a Life is a Musical post about it.) He said:
“Existence, the physical universe is basically playful. There is no necessity for it whatsoever. It isn’t going anywhere. It doesn’t have a destination that it ought to arrive at. But, it is best understood by analogy with music. Because music, as an art form, is essentially playful. We say you play the piano, you don’t work the piano. Why? Music differs from, say, travel. When you travel, you’re trying to get somewhere. In music though, one doesn’t make the end of the composition. If so, the best conductors would be those who played the fastest. And there would be composers who wrote only finales. People would go to a concert just to hear one crashing chord because that’s the end! Same way with dancing. You don’t aim at a particular spot in the room, because that’s where you should arrive. The whole point of the dancing is the dance.”
So, sing and dance! Celebrate life. Live in the moment. Set milestones. Enjoy the process. Reward your progress. Practice gratitude. And have fun.
9 Understand that Life is but a dream.
From a scientific perspective, in my Manifesting Reality post, I discuss how “most scientists now believe that materialism is not a valid world view. Physicists now accept that particles do not exist as objects in the absence of observation. They exist only as waves, which transform into particles when observed.” The material world is not the static, permanent, “real” thing we thought it was—it is waves of potential, which sometimes transform temporarily into particles with lots and lots of space between them.
From a spiritual perspective, many traditions describe the universe as a mental construct within the Mind of God. From this perspective, we realise that we are eternal spiritual beings who have chosen to have a temporary physical experience. As A Course in Miracles states, “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.” (Your body can be threatened; your soul cannot. Therefore, your soul is real; your body is part of the dream.)
Created in the likeness of God, we are eternal beings with infinity as our playground. This physical life is but a page in our book of life—a book without an ending. And, we have the power to manifest our physical reality with much greater precision than we formerly ever imagined. Life is but a dream—so live it on purpose and make it a beautiful one!
It is with great pleasure, humility, and gratitude, that I invite you to get into the boat and embark on this beautiful journey with me. I invite you to live a Life By Fire.
Tempest-tossed souls, wherever ye may be, under whatsoever conditions ye may live, know this: In the ocean of life, the isles of Blessedness are smiling, and the sunny shore of your ideal awaits your coming.
Keep your hand firmly upon the helm of thought. In the bark of your soul reclines the commanding Mistress; She does but sleep; awaken her.
Self-control is Strength. Right-thought is Mastery. Calmness is Power.
I recently read an Interview with Linden MacIntyre. When asked about his most memorable teacher, he replied: “My high school English teacher Aggie MacNeil. She was a former nun who felt obliged to remain in a convent until her parents were dead, upon which she emerged and married in middle age. I suppose the life she’d led gave her a particular appreciation of freedom and especially the liberation from the bonds of time and space that we achieve in poetry and literary fiction—ideas explored and presented in essay form. Her teaching was energized by her passion and enthusiasm for the subjects that she taught, and her obvious believe that literature is a pathway into the realm of possibilities.”
WOW, what an observation; what a compliment.
What do you desire?
I desire to write literature that creates a pathway into the realm of possibilities. Do I have the ability? I believe I do. Why? Because I define Desire as possibility seeking expression. If you have the keen desire to do something, you also have the potential power and ability to do it. The two go together. The universe is programmed for continuous expansion: Creation + Evolution.
“We are all acquainted with the loathsome consequences of living for the body and denying both mind and soul; and we see that real life means the complete expression of all that man can give forth through body, mind, and soul. Whatever he can say, no man can be really happy or satisfied unless his body is living fully in every function, and unless the same is true of his mind and his soul. Wherever there is unexpressed possibility, or function not performed, there is unsatisfied desire. Desire is possibility seeking expression, or function seeking performance.” Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich [1910]
Possibility seeks expression: Whatever you keenly and passionately desire, you can accomplish.
Did you know, today is an auspicious day? It marks the 1st year anniversary of the historic gravitational wave detection! Never heard of it?
Here’s a Replay:
On September 14th, 2015, nearly 100 years after Einstein predicted their existence in his theory of general relativity, the first gravitational waves were observed from Earth. Gravitational waves are “ripples in the fabric of space-time caused by some of the most violent and energetic processes in the Universe”. The source of the waves was a collision between two black holes that took place 1.3 billion light years ago.
Why does it matter?
It matters to me personally for 2 reasons:
In addition to Life By Fire, I’m writing another book called Genevieve’s Worlds. Genevieve eventually grows up and earns a Nobel Prize in Physics for discovering a source of non-resistance energy (energy that does not require earth’s resources). From what I’ve read, such a source of energy may well exist in the 4th dimension—the dimension of time rather than space. The gravitational waves discovered and discussed in the article below are ripples in the fabric of space-time…is there a connection? I have no idea, but Genevieve would.
Einstein theorized the existence of these gravitational waves in 1916. But, this group of scientists worked for almost a DECADE to try to detect these waves with no results! How many people would give up after almost 10 years of work without success. But, they didn’t give up. And, as a result, they have finally succeeded in detecting something that could change the course of humanity’s future. Now that is PERSEVERANCE!!!
“There is little doubt that September 14, 2015 will go down in scientific history. It was the day that one of the most intriguing predictions of Einstein’s General Relativity morphed from theory into reality. It was the day on which an entirely new field of scientific inquiry, gravitational wave astronomy, was born. And it was the day that human beings acquired a new sense, a completely new way of observing and learning about the universe unlike anything that has existed before.”
Many “firsts” occurred on that day:
The first detection of gravitational waves.
The first direct observation of black holes.
The first confirmation that binary black holes exist in the universe.
For years, I felt completely creatively blocked. These days, ideas flow through me faster than I can harness them. Although I’ve continued to quietly work away on an adult novel, I’ve also ventured into other works. In August, I started to write a middle-grade chapter book for kids around age 11 called Genevieve’s Worlds. The book has several purposes:
To speak to kids my children’s age.
To give kids an appreciation of math and physics that I did not learn in school.
To teach kids how to dream big and set goals.
To provide me with a short-term project and experience publishing, before I venture into publishing an adult novel.
I expected the process of writing, editing, and publishing Genevieve’s Worlds to be quite short and straightforward. Yet again, my expectations have completely misaligned with what has actually transpired. I wrote the first draft in a matter of months but quickly realized it was far too long and dense for middle-grade readers. The second draft stripped out a significant portion of the content of the first book, splitting it into two separate books, to create a sequel. But, years later, the first book continues to require revision to create the ‘pace’ required to keep this age group engaged enough to read to the end. I’ve learned that writing a novel, whether for adults or children, requires a significant amount of GRIT (something that Genevieve herself develops through the course of the story).
But, in the meantime, here’s a preview of Genevieve’s Worlds:
Book Jacket
Eleven-year-old Genevieve Harris doesn’t fit in. She asks too many questions and she loves math and sophisticated words. Her own family calls her an oddity. But, she fears that she’s worse than that. Genevieve has a secret: she sees energy and abnormal things happen to her. Is she a freak of nature?
In 2024, the world has entered an energy crisis but most people are still too distracted to notice. Genevieve has just moved from a tiny northern satellite town to the big city of Toronto. As she approaches her 12th birthday, on December 21st, at 12:21am, her ability to handle life in this new, chaotic city reaches a breaking point. What happens next will change her life, and ours, forever.
Forward
December 10, 2037 Stockholm, Sweden
Imagine a world with free energy. Imagine a planet unblemished by mines or oil rigs, and even a horizon uninterrupted by windmills or solar panels. What if an abundant, ever-flowing source of free energy existed? Energy that did not use up the earth’s resources or the galaxy’s? How would that change the world? How would that change your life? Think about it for a moment. Or a few moments. Or maybe even for a few days. I’ve thought about it a lot.
The first step in accomplishing anything is to believe it is possible.
Do you know what a Nobel Prize is? I do. Do you know how I know? I just received a Nobel Prize in Physics, 11 days before my 25th birthday—the youngest person to ever receive a Nobel Prize in Physics.
I received the Nobel Prize in Physics for discovering and harnessing a new form of energy—free energy. I know it will change the world for the better. Does that make me an amazing person? Maybe. Maybe everyone is an amazing person, in their own unique way.
Maybe YOU are an amazing person with the potential to do incredible things. Only you can figure out what those incredible things are and fulfill your unique Purpose in this life. I hope you write your story.
Here’s my story—the story of my worlds—Genevieve’s Worlds.
Last night, from our “big screen” in the comfort of our livingroom, we watched Gord Downie perform majestically with his Tragically Hip comrades in their hometown of Kingston, to an emotional crowd that included our Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. The “Grand Finale” of their 2016 Summer Tour.
Like so many Canadians, I received the news back in May of Gord’s illness with sadness. But, as time passed and momentum built toward their final concert in Kingston, my emotions changed. Frustration has replaced my sadness. Let me tell you why….
Like so many Canadians, I nostalgically reflected on the Hip’s influence on my life. My dear friend, Andrea, attended university in Kingston. In our university days, The Hip provided the backdrop for many a party (not in person, unfortunately but they were there in spirit, articulating our lives as young Canadians—fully and completely). I want to hear Andrea relate her “stocking Gord” story for me again—about hanging out on the lawn of his family home in Kingston and her conversation with his wife “who was so nice when she didn’t have to be”. I read poetic posts on Facebook from friends reflecting their countless concert attendances. I only ever saw the Hip perform live once. Not because I appreciated them less—I just haven’t attended 20 concerts in my lifetime.
Here’s where my frustration comes in….
May 27, 2016, CBC News headline: “Gord Downie, Tragically Hip singer, has terminal cancer”, from within the article “Tragically Hip frontman Gord Downie has been diagnosed with an incurable form of brain cancer, his neuro-oncologist confirmed Tuesday.” The news states that his cancer is “terminal”. His oncologist confirms that it is “incurable”. And the whole world accepts it as fact and begins mourning. Why?
Why do we choose such words?
Words have power.
Terminal?! First, life, not cancer, is terminal. We’re all leaving this body at some point—and IMHO nobody should have the right to decree for anyone else when, why or how.
Incurable?! After we’ve been bombarded ad nausea with media messages about “the war on cancer” and “together we’ll find a cure”, we still choose to use a word as profoundly definitive as “incurable”. Why not “historically difficult-to-cure cancer” or “not-yet-documented-as-cured cancer”? Too long?
Many alternative cures for cancer already exist—cures that work outside of the slash-and-burn methods touted as the only choices by pharmaceutical-based Western medicine. Never mind the miraculous spontaneous healings that have taken place typically unreported since the beginning of history. Yet the Powers-That-Be have decreed this cancer, in this person’s head, as “terminal” and “incurable”.
Why do we accept these pronouncements on our collective and individual fates so passively, so unquestioningly?
Why do we accept these prognoses without any healthy skepticism? Without any rebellion at all? Instead we sit, powerless, accepting his and our fates. And yet, the group described on their website: “What we in The Hip receive, each time we play together, is a connection; with each other; with music and it’s magic; and during the shows, a special connection with all of you, our incredible fans.” So, we as fans connect in a special way with the group through a flow of positive energy. If that’s true, rather than focusing on a tragic good-bye, couldn’t we focus on the power of this energy to heal? Couldn’t prayer and positive will come into it? Seems to me that Gord could use that now more than ever—now that the excitement of the tour has ended and everyone has gone home.
In movies, we love superheroes and the promise of new beginnings. In real life, why do we prefer heroic tragedy?
The iconic Canadian image of young Terry Fox limping down the highway in the rain has been too deeply engrained in our psyches. We’ve come to believe that dying the young martyr trumps living to a ripe old age. Have fans everywhere really assumed the curtain has already closed? Bucket List Item #30 See Gord Downie’s last concert: Checkmark. What’s the expectation now? That Gord should quietly fade away?
Well, I say NO. I reject that reality. I don’t believe it has to play out that way. Call me naïve, I don’t care. (I would like it to be one of the 41 things we share….) I’m sending Gord positive, healing vibes. And I’m looking forward to Gord’s 2017 concert with The Heroically Hip.
I defy reason. I rebel against negative pronouncements. And I’ll take my perspective over that of the news any day.
Do not go gentle into that good night
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Reflections on the passing of my beloved Papa, Peter Loewen
On July 14, 2016, I received some very unexpected and sad news: my beloved grandfather—my Papa—had collapsed and died. We had celebrated his 90th birthday the October before. Despite his advanced age, he was still enjoying excellent health, mobility and vitality. He still drove competently. He walked daily. His mind was still clear and sharp.
Born in Manitoba, Canada, of Mennonite descent, he had lived a full life, complete with his share of joys, as well as trials and tribulations. He was humble and wise, quiet and charismatic in equal measure.
A veteran, he had enlisted for WWII as soon as he came of age (he tried to join before his birthday, but had been sent away again). He met my Nana at Camp Borden, Ontario, when she came to sing for the troops. A serious knee injury sustained in training kept him from seeing action. I have been told he experienced prejudice and harassment at camp due to distrust because he spoke ‘low’ German.
He and my Nana had raised five children; they eventually settled in North Bay, Ontario.
Papa had travelled the length and breadth of North America as a transport truck driver. He broke his back on the side of a highway when a jack failed while attempting to repair his truck; during months of recovery in hospital, he painted paint-by-numbers suspended upside-down on a back board.
Peter Loewen November 14, 1925 – July 14, 2016
When permanent damage to his back meant he could not endure the constant jarring driving truck, he trained as a barber and established his own barber shop, complete with a candy-stripe pole. When I was little, he cut my hair ‘pixie style’ on a stool in Nana’s kitchen.
When he could no longer endure standing all day cutting hair, he returned to transport truck driving, now more comfortable due to advances in cab technologies. Upon retirement from that profession, he and my Nana traveled in a vehicle he had fitted himself as a mobile home.
After my initial shock and anguish at the news of his death, I began to fully comprehend the blessing of my Papa’s passing. He had spent a glorious day in the summer sun by the beach with my aunt and uncle and their family—surrounded by a number of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. After a beautiful day, and good dinner together, he announced that he was heading out. He casually left the house and collapsed in their driveway before reaching his car. A quick death.
Since then, I have been reflecting the lessons he has taught me about living well. In my experience, my Papa wasn’t one for spouting truisms—he was too humble a man for that. The few times I ever asked him for advice, his answers were intelligent and practical. But, example speaks louder than words. So, I thought I would share with you just some of the lessons I learned from Papa; I originally shared these with family and friends at his Celebration of Life.
Top 10 Things I Learned from My Papa
1. Enjoy your Work: Do what you love and love what you do
Some of my fondest memories with Papa date back to going on transport truck trips with him. Laying in the bunk of the cab. Eating pork rinds. Drinking creamers while we waited for our dinner in a good old-fashioned truck stop—Papa would let me drink the creamers and eat the butter patties straight! My Papa and I ate a lot of butter together in our time. He loved to drive. He loved the road.
I also remember Papa’s barber shop—the candy-stripe pole—watching him talking cheerfully as he cut someone’s hair. When back issues meant he couldn’t stand on his feet anymore to cut hair, he returned to the driver’s seat trucking. He was practical—more so, he practiced contentment.
2. Make People Feel Good
I watched Papa at restaurants or interacting with the nurses who cared for my Nana. He liked people. And they liked him. Because he made people feel good. He was considerate and cheerful and generous with his smile and praise. He left people feeling happier than before they met him—and appreciated—he made people feel appreciated.
3. Try New Things
My husband, my kids and I love international food. We’ve taken Papa out for Japanese food, including sushi several times and he ate enthusiastically with us each time. He never hesitated or commented that something was too different for him. He even commented that he would return to the restaurant on this own “for a change.” He sincerely enjoyed trying new things and he embraced them.
4. Troubleshooting Skills: You don’t have to know how it works to fix it
Papa had a natural capacity for fixing things. He was a clever, capable, resourceful man. One time, our old dryer broke. And he fixed it. Just like that. He just figured it out. I don’t tinker with motors but, as a website designer, I think of him when I troubleshoot broken website code—I’m not a programmer, but I follow his lead and just figure it out.
5. Mind over Matter: You can do anything with enough will power
My Papa had a will of iron. He had used it to overcome many hardships in his life. And he understood moderation. If he knew he needed to change something, he made the decision and changed it. And he stuck to it.
6. Don’t Complain
Papa didn’t complain. In the last years with Nana, he occasionally discussed issues around Nana’s care. But, it was never with the intention to complain, or speak disparagingly—it was always with respect and the sincere intention of solving the problem. He didn’t vent and he didn’t find enjoyment in judging other peoples’ actions. He minded his own business.
7 and 8. Be Loyal and Love One Another
I watched Papa’s devotion to Nana in their last years together with awe. His patience, dedication, and love. Nana and Papa may have experienced challenges, disappointments and frustrations, and even some heartbreak. But, Papa always treated Nana and, after her passing, spoke of Nana with the utmost respect and tenderness. He chose to remember the best times. He chose to focus on love, and it brought him, and all of us, happiness.
9. Complete the Job
Whether it was washing dishes, cutting the lawn, or trucking across Canada, Papa finished what he started. Papa committed himself fully to any and all tasks. When he started something, he finished it. He worked hard. He did what needed to be done—willingly, with determination, and to completion.
And, finally, number 10—the last lesson I learned from Papa about living well:
10. Leave on Good Terms
Maybe some of us had disagreements with Papa at one point or another in the past. Maybe there was a hard feeling or harsh word. But, I can’t remember. Because he healed wounds. He let go of any grievances from the past and he lived his last years in the present, in joy and contentment. From Papa, I learned gratitude and forgiveness and grace.
I learned from Papa that when it’s time to go, pack light. Embrace the journey, and hit the road without a fuss—after a full day in the sun and a good meal with people you love—with your sandals still on, and still full of sand from the beach.
Plato designated the dodecahedron to symbolize aether in what have become known as the ‘Platonic Solids.’
Today, leading-edge physicists endeavour to express elemental reality in mathematical terms, as part of their quest for ‘the theory of everything.’ In his documentary, 
WHEN: 11 Wednesday evenings:
4. Troubleshooting Skills: You don’t have to know how it works to fix it